Stupid In Love. Part 10.

Hii my loves, I’m writing this at 1:30am, not my usual writing time, and my mind isn’t set in the right moment.. I’m writing this to keep you all involved in my life.

I’m sorry that I have neglected you lately, I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to your comments, or any of those things; but my life has been spiraling downwards instead of being a stairway to heaven. Things are ranging from family problems like fight with my mother, to stress of school which is causing me to break down every once in a while.. I hope you understand and can stand by me while I try to fix things and get them back in order. I’ll be continuing and posting parts as much as I can, but if I don’t post for a while, and leave you all hanging, please understand that it isn’t my choice, that things have just gone out of hand at that point..

Any way, here’s part 10:)

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Like I last said, Na9er was jealous. Yes, my picture made him jealous.

See, my picture was of me in a tank top, A7med liked it, he liked it A LOT, stating that he liked my cleavage and that he had a thing for “big boobs”, and being Na9er’s cousin, and practically inseparable before that summer, he knows him pretty damn well, if you know what I mean..

“What’s your problem?!” I asked Na9er

“Nothing!” he typed

“Mu ma3qoula nothing! Wtf is your problem?! Seriously!” I was infuriated! Who was he to be throwing fits at stuff he didn’t even have a say in?!

“This is my problem!” he said

“What is?!” I asked, “stop speaking in codes and just come out and say it!”

“Stop putting provocative pictures of you as your display pictures!” he told me

“Winta shaku?!” I told him

“3ashan kil il shabab ishoufouna?! That’s why you’re putting them as your dp! I know!” he told me

“Shaku shabab?!” I told him

“Your ex! He won’t see?!” He asked me

“La2, he won’t see! La2na the only way I talk to him is when my friend invites him into a convo!” I yelled

“Eeeeee 9a7!” he told me

“You want to get on my email ba3ed to check?!” I told him

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” I read

What the.. Who the hell is he to say he wants to get on?! I just said that as a way to show him I have nothing to hide, not to literally allow him to get on my email and see whom I talk to and what not, my own mother doesn’t do that!!

“Fine! Here’s my password *$&%()#&%” I gave it to him

“Bes inta shaku who I talk to?! You’re acting like you’re my fucking boyfriend when all you are to me is my friend! Shilee 7arak about who I talk to?!” I asked, yeah, I got the nerve to ask him that, can you believe it?!

“You’re right..” was what he replied to my statement

“No, get on, I have nothing to hide!” I yelled

“La 5ala9 mabii” he told me

“Okay.” I said

that was the last thing we told each other on MSN that night..

I talked to my friends, I talked to his cousin, it was all good.. I got off and went to bed without as much as saying “Goodbye and good night” to him, just poof! Offline:)

 

Later on, another fight occurred, honestly, I don’t remember what, but if my memory serves me right, about that same ex..

Na9er accused me of lying, saying that I told him that I only talk to him and his cousin, which is true when it comes to phone! Come on, I’m in a mixed school! I have facebook, I have MSN with my classmates and previous classmates on it! Inshallah mu nawii amsa7 all the guys that were like brother to me 3ashan siwad 3youna?!

You wanna know what happened..?

I cried, I cried for a week, I cried everyday when I got home after school.. I’d lock myself in my bathroom, turn on the shower, sit under the shower head, hugging my knees and let the water rush down on top of me. My tears would blend in with the hot water and so I didn’t feel them coming down. I cried until my breaths were like 2 seconds apart from each other..

I kept sending him messages, apologizing, saying he had a point, saying that I thought he meant on the phone, and not in general.. He ignored.. or he’d say okay..

Until at one point, he finally called..

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How many of you readers has witnessed love, or has fallen in love? Felt it? Lusted for it? Craved for it from your crush? Craved it from anyone at all, including your own mother or father.. To those of you who haven’t, do you think you know love? Honestly, I think I have fallen in love, but to this day, I don’t know if it’s what you call love, or just attention..

They say love is an intense feeling of deep affection, that’s the dictionary meaning anyway.. But what’s the true meaning of love? I’ve heard it’s when you feel butterflies, when everything around you feels like a dream when you’re with them, when their voice makes you smile, when, when, you have no words to explain what you’re feeling.. That’s what I’ve heard, that’s what I felt with Na9er.. Yet after many failed attempts, and many, many heartbreaks later, I realized, I don’t want to fall in love, not until I know I can spend the rest of my God forsaken life with that person, to start a family, to make everything okay, once and for all..

Sometimes love doesn’t always work out.. I know that for a fact, as someone I know married the one they loved then, and now is getting a divorce, even when their parents didn’t approve of them being together, they fought to be together, and now that they were together, being together was hard, they don’t want it anymore, and so, the big piles of divorce papers, and dividing everything has started, lets just thank the lord that no kids are involved in this..

Okay, I think I went off track.. Just answer my question if you may.. What is love to YOU?

 

 

Part 10! :)

I hope you liked it!:)  I know I sort of when off track at the last part, and it isn’t a long post, but hey, it’s late, the sand man has finally gotten to his job and is making me sleepy..

Please don’t hesitate to contact me, in anyway possible, either via twitter, email, or even on here!:) I promise I’ll try to get back to you all as soon as I can, if I don’t, please understand and be patient with me..

I love you all to bits, you’re the only ones that are keeping me going at this very moment;*

Again, I love you;*

Until next time;

Stay safe my loves;*

-Q

Stupid In Love. Part 9.

Hii my loves!

I'm sorry, I know I promised a Valentines post but I got swamped. I hate it. I hate how stuff pull me away for you. :(

Any way, I will continue:)

Maybe a short post though..

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See, with Na9er everything was good, we talked like friends, it was cool, it was fun, it was harmless.. But little by little, I started to fall for him.. I know, Maisa, focus. This was supposed to be an experiment. Nothing more. No lovey dovey. NOTHING. Just an experiment, to see if he would do the same things he did to Jawa to me..

"Maisa, can I ask you something?" he asked me over the phone

"Sure, ask away" I told him

"t7acheen guys?" he asked

"La2, bes you oo your cousin.." I told him

"chathaba" he told me

"wallah!" I told him

"ma a9adgich bes okay" he said

"Mimi, do you like me?" He asked me

"Shno? La2 shaku" I said, I was terrified, every inch of my body was tingly and going numb

"3ayal laish il kalam il 7ilo o the flirting o all that?" He asked in a mischievous way

"I do that a lot, without wanting to do that" I told him

"Ahaa" he said

Then it was quiet for a minute or so, I heard the music in his car, I heard his breath, I heard everything.. Now, when I remember that moment, I feel like crying, then I didn't know everything would change like this, I wish it didn't.. I really wish that..

"By the way, when I start liking a girl, I start to slowly back away.." he told me

"Uhmm, okayy.." I told him

"Mimi, ana 3ind my cousin now, I'll message you" he told me

"5ala9 okay 3ala ra7tik" I told him

I got off my sofa, and 5 minutes later I got a text message..

"Please, don't call me anymore.. I'm sorry, take care;**"

I looked at the message in awe. What the hell? We were just laughing and talking like nothing was wrong!

I got on ebuddy from my phone.

A7MED.

He's online.

"Halaw, Na9er 3indik?" I asked

"Hala o0 ghala! Ee 3indii, laish?" he asked

"Shsalfita?! Tawa 3adii isoulif o0 the next minute this?! Tell him! Tell him that yes I did like him! I had this wee bit of feelings for him but not anymore!" I punched

Ouch. I felt the strings of my heart being cut off by a key. You know how hard it is to cut strings with a key? How long it takes, and how hard you have to pull at it, that's what happened..

A couple minutes after that, my phone started to vibrate, I looked at the caller ID and it was Na9er..

"Aloo?" I said

"Aloo" he said

"Haa, shfeek?" I asked

"Intay ilee shfeech" he told me

"Mafeenii shay, inta ilee feek shay" I said

"I told you, I walk away before I fall too deep.." he trailed off, "I don't want to get hurt.." 

"Al7een who got hurt?! Me or you?! ME! I didn't hurt you! You hurt me!" I yelled

"I know, but how do I know you won't hurt me?" he asked me

"Because I'm not one to hurt someone!" I yelled

"Okay.." he said

I think I struck a nerve, because we were okay after that.. 

Two days after that..

Remember that ex I told you about? The not kuwaiti one? Yeah, he popped up again:) Perfect isn't it?! He kept begging me to take him back, he scares me sometimes.. I know, what's he gonna do?! But I don't know, he gives me the creeps..

I told Na9er.. I know, stupid, but I did.. I needed reassurance that nothing will happen, but it caused more trouble than good..

"Shbisawii ya3nii?!" He texted

"Madrii! I'm scared of him! He creeps me out!" I said

"He can't do a thing, malich shi8el.." he said

"Okay.." was all I could muster

I was bored, my mom was out, so I decided to put on some make up and take pictures, shi8el banat 3adii;p

I went to her room, and started messing around with her make up; I liked how I looked, ALOT. I started taking pictures, and this particular one I loved.. I went on MSN and I used it as my dp.. 

The dude, esta5af. I am not kidding you. At first we were talking 3adii, then, AFTER using that picture as my dp, he went ballistic:/

He started being a jerk.

He was jealous. 

At that time, I didn't get it.. I really didn't.. Later on only did I found out that he was mad for me.. Well at that time..

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There you go, sorry for the delay;* 

-Q

Stupid In Love. Part 8.

Part 8! Enjoy;)

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The next 15 minutes were all about that crab, basically running around after him/her, trying to get a picture of Mr. Long eyes:p but little did we know.. The real hysterics is yet to come later that night..

We headed back to my shalaih, panting from running, and laughing at how each of us looked. We went up the steps and quickly ran to my room as the shalaih was ice cold.

“Heater! Heater!” I screamed as I ran into my room

I clicked the button on my air conditioning unit and changed it to heater.

“Okay, aku three bathrooms, I'll use my parent's, and one of you can use mine, withanya can use the guest bedroom. Who wants here, o0 who wants there?” I asked them

“Mu muhim! Lets shower bes!” Jawa said

“Okay, nagaw!” I said

“Lets shower in your bathroom taking turns..” Jawa said

“Okay, 3ala ra7atkum, mno first?” I asked, “ana a6awil..” I said sticking my tongue out

“Me too!” Jawa said and raised her hands in defeat.

“I'll go first ya3nii?” Basma said

“Kaifich..” We said

More contemplating and talking about who goes first, and we ended up all cramming ourselves into my shower – we were fully clothed with our bathing suits – taking turns on who uses the shower head first.

“Waaaaaaaaai3! Sha3rii kila ramil!” I screamed

Jawa laughed at my expression of disgust.

“Ee, ni6ray! Al7een bikoun ib sha3rich ba3ed!!!!” I yelled

“Waaaaai3! Ka feeeeee!!!” Jawa yelled

“Allah ma yirtha ya bgaraaa!” I retorted

Basma was the first to finish, she left the bathroom with a towel rapped around her bathing suit fitted body, and walked into my bed room to change.

Me and Jawa on the other hand, well we spent maybe up to another 20 to 30 minutes in the shower, washing out the tiny little grains of sand in our heads.

“3a6eenii il body soap please..” Jawa said

“Here, o0 smell it, it smells amazing! I got it yesterday lemn ri7t Il Kout wiya mama..” I said

“Allaaaaah! It smells amazing!” She yelled

“I know 9a7?!” I said

“Yeaaaah!” She squeezed the purple creamy shower gel onto her palms and started spreading it on her body, in between her bathing suit and body, and on her bare body parts.

“Hand it over please..” I said

“Here” Jawa said handing it over

I squeezed some onto my palm and she went,

“Mayouuuuus! Waiiii3!”

“Shfeech?!” I said confused

“Aku sand in there..” She said looking at me, wanting me to understand without saying the word

“In where?” I said again

“In makutiiiiiii!!!” She said and laughed

“KAAAAAK!!! Umbay, inshallah ana maku!” I said

a minute later, I started laughing

“Hem anaaaaa!” I laughed

Me and Jawa started laughing in unison as we each tried to clean it out. Apparently, il ga3da ib wis6 il ba7ar, o0 playing with the sand did that. Those little sand grains snuck in our shorts and bikinis and rested in the only place they could find. Our butts. :)

We made sure we were clean of sand infesting body parts and left the bathroom laughing. I pulled out my pink Calvin Klein panties, and white La Sanza bra.

“Digeega, barou7 albis my undies bil 7amam o0 arid” I said smiling

“Okay” Smiled jawa

I went into the bathroom, and wore my underwear, I rolled on some deodorant, sprayed on some perfume, flipped my hair and gave it a shake, and went out.

“Okay, I don't care if you guys see me in my underwear, so deal with it.” I smiled

“Haw, Mayso 3adii, we go through everything together, ana 3adii!” Jawa said

“Me too, I don't care” laughed Basma

I got out my yellow Juicy Couture sweats, and white Polo t-shirt, and got dressed.

“Maisa, do you have extra sweats? All my clothes ilee I got are kesh5a.. Kila nas 3indina, fa I didn't get anything casual..” Said Basma

“Me and Jawa are the same size, gadich?” I asked

“Ooooh, no” she said, “5ala9, 3adii..”

“Are you sure? You can try it on..” I told her

“La 5ala9, 3adii..” Basma said

“Okay, 3ala ra7tich honey..” I told her

We each got dressed and went out, passing by the kitchen for some juice before heading out. I grabbed some banana milk, while Jawa got some mango juice. Basma on the other hand, got just water.

“Na9errrrrrrrr!!” I yelled. Ironically, my little brothers' name is Na9er. Nice isn't it? Yeah yeah, it's a common name. Whatever.

Il muhim, I called him and asked him for the Rhino key.

“Ma3a Jassim” He told me

“Il mifta7 wiya Jassoum?” I asked

“Ee, digay 3alaih, ohwa bara bil mal3ab wiya il shabab china..” He said

“Ee, okay.” I told him

We started walking towards the mal3ab, and ma wa3aina ila inshouf shabab yil3iboun kura, o0 buggiat all around. I looked at Jawa and she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Siktay!” I stuck my tongue out, “These are probably my brothers' friends” I told her

“Akhhhh, 7asafa” she pouted.

“Jassimmmmm!” I yelled

Jassim, wild 3amii, o0 he's a little boy, so no worries here. :)

“Haaa?!” I heard him yell back

“Ta3al please” I said

and he came jogging towards me

“Haaa, shfeech?” he asked

“Abii mifta7 il Rhino please..” I said

“Ni6ray” he told me, “Zayouuuud! Yeeb mifta7 il rhino!” He called out to Zaid ithaher, o0 Zaid kuber Na9er o5oy, his sister is one of my good friends.

“Hach!” he handed me the key and ran off.

“Okaaaaay, thank you” I said sarcastically.

“YEEEAAAH!!!” I said and ran to the drivers side of the Rhino, Jawa to the passenger, and obviously, Basma jumped in the back.

We drove like maniacs for a bit, then Na9er texted me..

“Hii(: Can I call you?” it read.

“Heyy! Sure I guess, but I'm with Jawa..” I replied

“3adii, ba3day 3anha shway;)” he replied

“Mmm, okay;p” I replied

“He wants to call.. galii aba3id 3anich, bes I'll be right next to you” I winked to Jawa.

“Good!” Jawa winked back

“Yalla, call..” I texted him 3 minutes later.

We talked and talked.. We just laughed, and talked about random stuff, honestly now, I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember this significant part that made Jawa want to strangle him.

“Jawa tadrii inich t7acheenii?” he asked

“Nope, bes I'm planning on telling her tonight..” I told him

“La2, don't tell her!” He said

Haw, shfeeh mayabeenii agoulaha? I asked myself..

“Why not? She's my best friend, o0 I tell her everything..” I told him

“Ee, she didn't tell you about us..” He said, but little did he know that she did..

“Okay, she didn't, bes I can't keep this from her, maybe she doesn't want us to talk?” I told him

“Don't tell her.. I know she's going to be pissed, a3arif Jawa 3adil” he said

In my head I said, “7abeebii, mat3arif shay, lounik t3arif chan you would know this was all planned out..”

“Mmmkayyy..” Was all I said.

“Mayouuus! Sakray il phone o0 ta3alay!” Jawa yelled

“Na9er, I'm sorry, I gotta go, Jawa's calling me, she's on her way over here..” I told him

“Oh, okay, deeray balich 3ala nafsich” he told me

“Will do! You too!” I told him and hung up.

I ran to Jawa and told her what he said

“7maaaaaaaar!!!! He know's me?! Fuck himmmm!! He doesn't know me at all! Tell him you told me! Tell him I knew all along!!” She yelled, “Wallah la adig 3alaih al7een wagoul inee a3arif kil shayyy!!” She was pissed..

“Jawooo! La2!! The whole plan will just turn into one big problem!!!” I told her, “5aleeh! I'll say I told you LATER! NOT now!” I told her

“Okay okay..” She calmed down

We walked back and forth at the length of the shalaih before we decided to get my dog and take him for a walk

“Hii 7abeebiii!” I called out to him and his tail started wagging

“Woiii! Eshawig!” Jawa said

“Hahaha, he's big 9a7?” I laughed

“Uff!” Jawa said

“Yala 7ayatii, ta3al” I told him as I unhooked his leash from the nail in the ground.

I started walking him, and the shifts started.. Me, Jawa, then Basma, then I take him back for the night.

Right now, in this very moment, sitting here and writing this.. I wonder, why did I even want to talk to Na9er then? And now, I realize, it was the attention I was getting from him then, I was something not known to him, something he probably wanted.. Kil mamnou3 mar3'oub;) So I was something mamnou3 to him, something he couldn't get.. And so, he was giving all the attention I wanted, and that pulled me in.. Unfortunately, we can never turn back time and stop what we did before, we can only learn and grow from it..

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There you go.. ;)

Tell me what you think, and like I said, inshallah a Valentines post;)

PS: I'm now on Twitter! Follow me! http://twitter.com/queenofmyhoodx

I love you all!!!!

-Q

Hello! :)

Hi my loves! Shlounkum?! I know it's been a while since I posted.. but inshallah I'll post soon..
I've been swamped, and going through a lot so I couldn't really post or write as my muse and my inspiration disappeared.. My writing was becoming stale, and so I guess the hiatus helped..?
Again, Twitter, it's getting big and I'm honestly thinking of making an account.. That is IF you guys follow (well the ones with Twitter's anyway!)

Valentines is coming up! :D What's your plans?! Anyone already have their Valentines?!;)

I wanna surprise my mommy, but I think the dozen roses with one false rose isn't really an idea? Should I? Or Shouldn't I? Since it's been used alot, it might be un-original..
Also! If any of you guys know a good flourist, PLEASE send me their name and number! You can either comment it on here, or you can email me at:
queenofmyhood@hotmail.com
I'm in need of a flourist my mom doesn't know 3ashan she doesn't know what I have planned!;)
So please, it would mean alot to me! And INSHALLAH, on Valentines, I'll post a Valentines post..

So yes, two or possible three things.. :p
1. Short hiatus I went on.
2. Valentines ideas.
3. A good flourist! (PLEASE, it'd mean A LOT to me and I honestly need it..)
4. Inshallah a Valentines post;)

Okay, 4 things. Bes you get the idea:p Haha(a)

I love you all, and I pray you're all in good health and are doing well!

Forever, with love;
-Q