Sunday, June 27, 2010

Stupid In Love. Post 19 & 20. (The Finale)

Ahh.. My amazing readers.. My FAMILY. You are the ROCK and the REASON this blog is still alive today. At the end of this post, comes the end of a second story.. Another life you've lived with me.. Another whirlwind of emotions we've felt together. I can't believe it's about to come to an end.. Wow..

Well here goes nothing..

*-*-*-*


Something shook my table so hard, I jumped in terror. I walked to my table and looked down..
















My oh my..
Guess who..
Na9er :)

El7ilu qarrar yidig:O

Didn't I tell you all? I'll make him come back. :)



I looked at my phone and raised an eyebrow with a smirk on my face before I picked up.

"Aloo?" I said irritatedly
"Aloo" He said
"Hii?" I asked
"Hey" was his reply
"Mmm..?"
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked
"Really?" I said
"Yeah, really" He replied
"Mu min9ijik sa7? Mu inta ile gayilee latdigeen 3alay?" I almost laughed
"I said that then because I was mad" He defended
"So you told me not to call you. I obeyed" I told him, "if you didn't mean it, why didn't you call me?" I asked him
"I wanted to see if you'd call" he said
"Aha. Well weren't you the one who said 'You know what?! Don't call me! Okay?! Don't call me!' huh? Wasn't it you? Or was it someone else?" I asked him stating what he said a week ago, but he didn't answer me.
"Okay. Na9er. Do you want to be with me or not? Because if you don't, I'll just leave." I said, "so yeah, tell me. Do you want to be with me or not?"
"Honestly?" He said
"La, not honestly. AKEED HONESTLY." I said
"No." He said, "I don't want to be with you." he continued
"Okay then. Thank you." I said, "I have to go now, tabi shay?" I asked him
"Wain ray7a?" He asked suspiciously
"Ba6la3 with my friend" I told him
"Mwa3da?" He asked sounding jealous
"NA3AM?!" I almost screamed
"Mwa3da?" He asked again
"Shaku mwa3da?!" I screamed
"3ayal wain betrou7een?" He asked
"We have a Halloween party tomorrow. We're going to get costumes." I said sincerely. I wasn't lying! So why should I hide anything?! Right?!
"Okay.." He said
"Yallah, I'm going to go. If you want anything, message me." I told him and hung up

I'm not in the mood to talk to him on the phone after what he said! Wila enshallah shayifnii sahla ya3nii?!

I picked up my Louis Vuitton Speedy bag and walked out of my room flicking the lights off as I left.
The deal was to meet up at Soug Sharg and get some coffee and then start the hunt.
As we walked around sipping our coffee, something caught my eye. And it was like a light bulb flicked on in my head.

What I saw were a pair of ears. Yes. EARS. Kitten, Leopard, and Rabbit ears.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at the stand outside of Claire's... Hmm.. Call them or not? I'M SO CALLING THEM!

I called Jawa and 3anoud and told them of what I found, and I put out my cards.. My idea..
I'd get us each a set of ears. The same color. And we'd get all dressed up as cats. Sexy, feisty cats. Something that would make a guy in the street stop and stare. Make him fantasize of what she could possibly do if she would flirt with him. THAT type of cats;) They were in. They were so excited over this, it's the first time we ever went to the extreme with costumes.

Now, the next night.. Was when we'd shock all the party people.

The night of the party; the girls came over to my place to get ready.
I remember me and Na9er were constantly texting that night, but why, or over what I'm not sure. :s
You know when Charlie's Angels walk in somewhere? How the three of them look so different, yet are so connected in some way? Yup! That was us when we walked in.


We payed our formalities with the other girls, then picked our sofa.

I remember him calling me in the middle of the party. He told me to hang up, but I wouldn't allow it. He had to let it out. And so, he told me that he was no good for me, but me, being the stubborn girl that I am, I told him off. I told him that it was my decision, and that it was my heart on the line, and not his. He also told me that he doesn't deserve my love, and yet again, I told him that it's not up to him who I fall in love with, and it's not something I can control.

That kind of killed my party buzz..

But my girls were quick to bring it back up, and I loved them for doing that!

But the real drama was yet to come..


-------------------------(Part 20)-------------------------

The Finale


The day after the party, I sat and thought to myself..
Maybe he has a point..
I tried..
I gave him my heart.. I cried so much over him.. I called, I practically begged him to make me his!
Wow, that looked like I was desperate..
Maybe someone else deserves my love? Someone who'll love me so much better than Na9er has ever loved me..
I kept thinking..
And my heart, and my mind was torn between two, to either walk away or to take whatever Na9er flings my way..


I called Jawa and talked to her for approximately an hour.. We weighed the pros and cons of my situation.

Na9er was a great guy, RAYYAL! He's a man for Gods sake! He can keep me safe! Someone lays a finger on me, he'll break it! He LOVES kids! Which shows he'll be a great father one day..
He was flirty, that's good and bad..
And the list went on and on..

It all weighed each other out..










I had my answer...





























This is the end of the road for us..














I couldn't call Na9er..
Just the sound of his voice would make me stay..
I had to do it the easy way..
Easy, but still tough..
It was through MSN..


I got online, with me fighting back tears. Chocking on them actually..
I opened a conversation with him..
And that's when all the tears came rushing out, like a waterfall that drowned my eyes, I could barely see what I was typing.

"Na9er. I've had enough. You had a point. I deserve someone better. And that's what I'm doing. I'm leaving. I'm erasing you out of my life. Bye. And I swear to you, you'll never find someone like me, you just wait and see."

I clicked enter.
Then I clicked block.
And last but not least. I clicked DELETE.
Part one, accomplished.


Next,
I deleted all his messages, cleared out my call log, and turned off my phone.
Part two, complete.


Now, for part three..
The depression, and the crying..
Man, oh man..
I locked myself up all week.. I cried and cried and cried..
And because of the depression, I BEGGED for a trip to the chalet. And.. I got it.. I need this..

It's been a while since I got on MSN from my phone, and when I did, he was there..
Yeah, you read that correctly, HE was there! As in NA9ER was there! On my contact list! Are you kidding me?! Are you fucking messing with me?!

Na9er says:
Hey

M;* says:
Hi

Na9er says:
Why's your phone turned off?

M;* says:
Because I turned it off?

Na9er says:
I need to talk to you

M;* says:
Not now. I'm going to bed.

Na9er says:
Can you call me tomorrow? Please.

M;* says:
Khair enshallah. I'll see what I can do.

Na9er says:
Please. And thank you.










I think he lost his mind. NOW he's looking for me?!
Na9er.
Two words baby.
FUCK OFF.



But..
After he told me that he needed to talk to me, there is no way in hell that I can let it go. I WANT to know now.
That dude knows how to push my buttons, and I hated that :(





I went to sleep with nothing but curiosity.. Hey, don't judge me. When you put yourself in my shoes, you'd probably know how it feels.

I woke up at around 8am. Min Allah, chithe ga3adt eb hal 7ezza. I washed up and got dressed and headed out for a morning walk.. It was refreshing.. The morning breeze, the music tantalizing every nerve in my brain.. I loved it..

Around 9am, I turned on my phone to find a message from Na9er, asking me to call him when I see this. His message came at around 8:45-ish in the morning..

I took a deep breath, and called him.. And within a few rings, he picked up..

"Aloo" he said
"Hii.." I whispered
"It's nice to hear your voice.." he told me
"Yours too.." I said
"Shlounich?" he asked me
"El7imdellah, I'm good.. What about you?" I asked
"Good good.." He trailed off

There was an awkward silence before I asked him,
"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Maisa, awal shay, abii at2aseflich for everything I said.. I'm sorry, I was a complete jerk.. I didn't mean to do that to you.." he said
"Mmm.." I said
"You didn't deserve that.." he told me
"Na9er, I cried like fuck over you." I told him
"You said you get over someone fast" he reminded me
"I know what I said. And yes I do. But I kept everything bottled up inside until I finally broke down!" I jabbed into him
He was quiet..
I was quiet..
I just breathed into the phone.. It slowly got heavier at the sound of his voice, and how apologetic it sounded.. But I took a deep breathe and calmed myself down before I would allow a tear to come rolling out.
"Well, I called to apologize to you. And I want you to forgive me for everything I've done to you.. I didn't mean it. I just wanted to push you away, but I didn't know how, and I guess I did it the wrong way.. We're grown, and just cutting things off like that seems childish.." he said
"Yup, we're grown.." I repeated
"I mean, also, it's with my friends.. Like for me, when I get involved and I get attached then lose them, I just stop caring about everything, and I just can't afford that now.." he said
"Na9er! You don't just drop everything! You use it as a way to help you cope! To keep yourself busy!" I laughed
"Yeah, well I'm not like that.. I lock myself up.. I stray from my friends, I stop studying, and I just don't care.." he said
"Yeah, well you don't have to worry about that anymore.." I smiled
"I guess.. But I still want us to be friends.. And again, I'm sorry for hurting you.." he said again
"Don't worry about it!" I told him, "I'm sorry hun, but I have to go.." I acted disappointed
"It's okay.." He said, "and thank you for hearing me out.."
"Nooo problemmm!" I said, "Later.."
"Later" he mimicked












Wow.. Funny how everything turns out, eh?

I re-added Na9er to my MSN contact list.. We talked a couple times.. We became friends.. It was.. NORMAL.












But one day..
One day..
What I said would happen, HAPPENED.





Me and Na9er were talking.. And he asked me..

"Do you miss me?"

I was in awe.
Seriously? Did he just ask me that?

"Honestly?" I asked him
"Yes" he replied
"Sometimes.. I do.." I told him, "I don't miss the pain, but I sure miss all the fun times we had.." I added
"K" was his reply

Hurts, yeah? It's good you got a taste of your own medicine..

"Do YOU miss ME?" I asked him {PS: I was being sarcastic :)}
"Yes.." He said
"How much?;p" Kint ga3da asta3bi6, mu min 9ijjy! :O
"Alot.." he admitted..
My heart, STOPPED.

It happened.
I made him miss me.


Even though I brushed that encounter off, we still talk, and he still calls sometimes. Not like best friends, but we ask about each other from time to time.. And honestly, it's nice to know that I didn't lose him.. We were friends before this started.. Well, not for long, but we were friends.. And it was fun..

And I guess the answer to that question of, "Can you be friends with your ex?", is yes. As long as you both can put your differences aside, and be there for each other, and support each other.. Then it's all good..

My story with Na9er hasn't ended.. It's a start of a new friendship. I might never be his girl, and he might never be my man.. But in the end of the day, I know that if I need someone to lean on, he's there for me.. I leaned on him when there was tension with me and my friends, with me and my mother, with my brother, with anyone.. And he was there, he gave me advice that helped me with whatever situation I'm in..

A part of me will always love Na9er as more than a friend, I'll always remember him as my first kiss, I'll always remember the way his eyes look, and how he looks at me sometimes. I'll always remember how he laughs, and how he smiles that devilish smile of his.. Maybe I'll get jealous when I know he's not mine, that's just how us girls are.. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that I'll always be happy for him no matter who he's with, or what he's doing. As long as he's happy, I'll be more than happy..

There will always be that special someone that'll come into your life and affect you in so many way, good or bad, but it'll just show you how life is unpredictable, and how the slightest change, can change the course of nature completely.


*-*-*-*

Wow.. The end of another story.. How overwhelming.. But that's another step you guys moved forward with me..

I love you all!

Thank you for all the support you've given me through this whole year! And yes, WOW! It HAS been a year! Oh my Gosh!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Have an amazing summer! Enjoy it wherever you guys are!

And hopefully, when I get back, I'll have something new for you all:*

I love you;
-Q;*

4 comments:

  1. AWWHHH!
    IT'S UNBELIVABLE HOW THE STORY ENDED SO FAST :'(
    Keep it up hun, you're such a great writer ;*
    cant wait for a new story :D
    Enjoy your summer hun<3<3
    Love you xoxo

    -Washy*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't believe this story is coming to an end. We've been with you through everything in this story. We've felt everything. It's like we were in your shoes.
    The way you decribe is utterly amazing. Everything you write is inspirational and makes me wanna continue.
    I just want you to know, that whenever you come back, we'll be right here waiting for the new story.
    & I know for sure it's gonna be even better than the other stories.

    Writing this story might have made you cry or even open up an old wound, but it made you stronger. Trying to recall the past and write it down must be so hard. No one in BLOGSPOT/WORDPRESS could write the story the way you wrote it.

    I've been here from the start and I'll continue supporting you till my heart stops beating.

    I love you so much,
    &you'll be missed.

    -S<3

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVED IT :D LOVED THE ENDING ALOT !
    I read the whole thingg;*****
    7ada 3jibatnii wallaa !!

    He turned out to be a good guy! Awal shay sabaita:p im sorry;p heheh! Bas il7amdila he turned out to be good:D

    7abeebtii Alla ywafgiichh;** *

    ReplyDelete
  4. loved the ending.. epilogue MUST be out soon :) we're waiting!

    ReplyDelete