Hii there my loves x
I just want to take this time and thank each and every one of you for your ongoing support. You all have made me so much stronger, and have given me the freedom of speech I didn’t find anywhere else. You have supported me from the very beginning, and I thank you for that. You don’t know how much each and every one of you means to me.
I’m here for you all whenever I’m needed, just like you’ve been there for me from the start, that’s the only way I can pay you all back, actually, that’s not enough, but I don’t know what else I can do to pay you back. But I just hope that you can come to me when you need help with something, when you need a piece of advice, when you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here. I’ll have my hand out for you, I’ll be your big sister if you need me, I’ll be your best friend if that’s what you need. I’ll be exactly what you need.
Again, thank you for the ongoing support.
I love each and every one of you.
Now you’ve all known what happened in the first two meetings with Na9er, you’ve seen how I cried, you’ve seen how I smiled, how I giggled, and you’ve felt every thing inside of me. You’ve been me in my last posts. Now you’ll be me again.. It’s time for you to jump into my shoes another time..
Remember when Na9er told me I was lying, when I didn’t tell him I “talk” to guys and all of that? Yeah, he brought it up again, we got into some fight and he wouldn’t talk to me.
I remember calling up a friend and crying so hard, I cried like there was no tomorrow.
This friend is not one I mentioned before, she’s not even Kuwaiti, she’s Emarati, so lets just call her Flana.
“Flanaaa! I can’t do this! I can’t live like this! He knows I want him, he knows I love him! Then why all this torture?! Why does he want to keep hurting me?!” I cried into the phone
“Mimi 7ayatii, rou7ii, heday heday, eta9lee 3alaih o0 ramseeh, estafsiree emna, 3urfii why’s he acting this way?!” she consoled me
“Flana, he doesn’t want to get hurt! He’s scared I’ll hurt him!” I yelled
I remember I was sitting in a corner in my room crying, yelling into the phone when my breathing was shallow like someone was suffocating me, I was trembling so much I couldn’t hold the phone correctly.
“Sawee ilee giltlich etsaweena! I’m gonna hang up oo intee ra7 tita9lain 3alaih witramseena, tell him you want to see him, you need to talk, insist on it. Don’t step down, keep telling him you need to see him elain yiwafi8!” She instructed me
“*sniff sniff* okay, inshallah” I told her
“Yallah, wipe those tears and call him, you’re strong, I know you. Yallah 7abeebtii, nirmis ba3dain” is what she told me as I sensed a smile creep on her face
“Inshallah, and flana, thank you..” I said
“Don’t thank me, I’m your big sister” she kissed me through the phone
I hung up and got up to wash my face, it was time to calm down and get my strength back.
I was never the one to let the guy control me, I would control him, he would go crazy in attempting to control me, but soon enough, he’d leave, broken, and I’d be standing tall.
I knew calling him wouldn’t work because he’s giving me the silent treatment, so I sent him a text message.
“Hii, I need to see you.”
“No.” is what he replied
I got mad then, I got pissed, it was like fire was coming out of my ears.
“Shno no?!” I replied
“No, you don’t need to see me.”
“How the f*ck do you know?! I NEED to see you!” I told him
“I don’t want to see you.”
“Well I want to see you.” I retorted
“Say it over the phone.” He said
“No, it won’t work on the phone, I need to see you. Tomorrow.” I demanded
“I’m sick, I can’t tomorrow.” He told me
“Okay, when you’re feeling better then.”
“Okay” he told me
YES! I won! Woah! That felt good! And when I see good, like REALLY good! The smile was plastered on my face, I felt strong, once again, I’ve done it. :)
That was Monday..
“Hii, are you feeling better?” I asked
“Hey, yeah I am:)” he told me
“El7imdella..” I replied
2 minutes later..
“So when do you want to see me?” He asked
“Tomorrow?” I told him
“Sure, when and where?” He asked me
“I’ll tell you tomorrow” I told him
“Okay, but before school ends please”
“5ala9, wela ehimik” I comforted him
It was October 21st, 2009.
My day was fully planned..
School, send Na9er the location, meet him, then chalet. That was how it was going to be.
I woke up in the morning making sure my hair looked good, I made sure to take my Victoria’s Secret lip gloss with me to school, and my most complementing sweats. So after I picked my sweats, I pulled out a plain white v-neck shirt that I got from H&M. I folded them and rammed them into my bag hurriedly.
“Shit! Mascara!” I whispered in a loud voice.
I opened my drawer and pulled out my mascara, blush and eye lash curler. Yeah yeah, I know, why all that for a guy? Because if anything bad happened, I wanted to walk away looking like a goddess. Sure, not in sweats and all, but at least, I’d want him to know that he lost something. Something valuable!
I took my bag and ran down the stairs; picked up my coffee and off to school I went.
It was around 1:30 when I sent Na9er the location and time.
“Hii, so are we on for today?” I asked him
“Yup, wein?” he asked
“Um, my gym?” I asked
“Sure, ay gym?” He asked me
“Flex Family. Bneid il Gar, back parking” I told him
“Akhaf a7ed yishoufna” He said
“No don’t worry, maku a7ed, it’s abandoned, well other for lihnoud ilee feeha;p” I sent him
“Loool ok:p What time?”
“At around 3?” I asked
“Will be there:)”
“See ya” was the last thing I sent him
I started talking to 3anoud about it, and she insisted on helping me get ready since we had the last period together and I needed to get ready and knock the boy off his feet!
Bell rang, and me and 3anoud RAAAAAN to the bathroom, dodging every human being we ran into.
I locked myself in a bathroom stall and started to undress
“Maisa! Yallah!” She laughed
“Okay okay! I’m coming!” I giggled
I got out and ran to where 3anoud was;
“Eyelash curler!” I yelled as she handed it to me
You know when you look at those movies and they say something and they quickly hand over that very thing they asked for? It was like that; and before long I was done.
I ran down and when I almost got to my car.. I realized..
I forgot my school back upstairs.. In the THIRD floor bathroom.
How smart Maisa! Guess what I did? I ran to my car, threw in my bad with all my clothes, then ran back up to get my school bag.. By the time I got down stairs, I was out of breath, with beads of sweat forming at the back of my neck and the side of my face. MU WAGTAAA!! I turned on the air conditioning and got it to the highest temperature it could go to.
“Wainich?” He sent me a message
I looked at my phone; it was already past 3. SHITT!! Na9er is VERY accurate with time. When he says he’ll be there at a certain time, he’ll be there.
“Sorry! Kanii I’m 5 minutes away, i5tii ta2a5erat!:/” I lied; it was a white lie. Don’t murder me!:/
“Okay, I’m there”
2 minutes later, my driver dropped me off with my sister, and he left, I remember standing there, I looked around and didn’t see him at all.. I called him..
“I see you” was the hello I got
“Yuma wainik?” I asked, “I don’t see you..”
“Come across the street, ana ayeech..” he said
“Okay, ana 3ind the silver corolla” I told him
and we hung up
I walked up to the silver corolla, and I saw him walk up to me..
The way he looked had me in a daze..
He coyly looked around, but not in the way that irritated me, the one that made me want to jump on him,
“Hii” he said
“Hii” I replied as I wrapped my arms around me, YES, I wrapped my arms around MYSELF. That wasn’t a typo, I did do that, I guess it’s what you do when you stand up in defense of yourself? I don’t know, all I know is that I did that.
“So..” He said as he looked at me, note that he didn’t look me in the eye
“6ali3nii” I told him
“Ga3id a6al3ich” he said
“No! Look me in the eye!” I demanded
“Magdar..” He said
“Why?!” I laughed
“Madrii..” He said as he lowered his head
I giggled when he lowered his head and said, “okay”
“So what do you want to talk about?” he asked me
“Na9er, tikfa goulii, ana ga9art ib 7agik?! Did I lie to you?! Did you tell me to do something that I didn’t?! You wanted all the guys on my msn to be deleted, sawait ilee tabeeh, facebook, you saw it, kilihum ma3ay in school or are my cousins! You and A7med are the only ones that aren’t from school or related to me! Tell me! Ana ga9art ib 7agik?!” I yelled
“La2..” He said
“3ayal tell me! Tell me why you’ve been hurting me so much! For F*cks sake! Look at me now! I’m shaking just standing right in front of you! You have that much of a hold on me!” I kept yelling
He was quiet, imnazil rasa..
Suddenly, my phone rings.
SHIT! Wagta?! I look.. My mother..
“Digeega, omii” I said and he motioned for me to take it
I picked up,
“Aloo?” I said
“Ana bil gym”
“I thought I did! Imbella, I told you!” I said
“Oh, yimken nisait? I’ll be done soon inshallah”
“I stopped running 3ashan I pick up when you called” I told her
“Inshallah, 5ala9 3ayal bes arid a5ali9 shughlii” I told my mom and hung up.
“Shfeeha?” he asked
“La nothing, she just asked me why I didn’t tell her I’m coming to the gym, bes I did..” I told him
“Oh..” He said
We were quiet for about 5 minutes, so I turned around and leaned on the car, I slowly settled my phones on the car and just looked at my hands.
“Maisa?” He said
“Hmm?” I asked as I turned around slightly
“Do you wanna be with me?” He asked me
“You know the answer to that..” I smiled
“No, I want to hear it from you”
“Na9er, I’ve said it a million times, oo inta adra bil jawab..” I said again
“La2, abii asma3’ha minich..” He smiled
“Yes.. I do..” I said
And that smile that makes me melt in my place formed, that smile that makes my knees buckle and my bones turn to mush, that was the smile I saw.. :)
I started giggling and I turned around and leaned against the car one more time.. He came closer and leaned on the car next to me, I turned around and looked up at him and smiled, he smiled down at me.. I was quiet for maybe a minute or so when I felt something make it’s way around my arm..
Na9er slid his hand under my arm and slowly intertwined our fingers as we leaned against the car, that intertwinement made the butterflies in my stomach stir, I felt like they were going to come up out of my stomach and out of my mouth. He squeezed my hand and I rubbed my thumb on the side of his palm and thumb when he squeezed my hand.
I looked up and a shy smile formed
“If you want me to kiss you, come closer” he teased
“You think I want you to kiss me?!” I laughed, “nope I don’t” I smiled
“I know you do” he smiled at me
I threw my head back and laughed
“Come with me” he pulled me
“Wain ray7een?”I said and I stiffened my legs
“My car” he said
“No, manii ray7a to your car” I stated
“ta3alay! I’m not going to do anything!”
“Mabiiiii!” I said
“Ta3alay!” He insisted
He came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me,
“Nooo!” I said
“Wallah manii emsawii shay!” he said as he took a hold on my jacket
“Ahh! Zain zain!” I said as I walked at his pace, “you don’t have to pull me you know!” I said
“Ba5ith jakaitich” he told me
“Heeeey! La2! That’s my favorite jacket! I’ll give you something ba3dain” I said as I yanked my jacket out of his hand
“Ya3nii shino?! You’ll give me an earring?! Wila what?!” He joked
“La I’ll give you a hoodie” I laughed
“Haha not my size!”
“I have oversized hoodies you know!” I retorted
“Okay okay” he said
by then we were leaning against his car, an Escalade.
I was leaning against him, I would look up and I’d see his face.. In height, I’d be up to Na9er’s nose.. Perfect height..
He lifted my chin with his index finger..
The next thing I knew…
His lips were on mine..
And slowly after that, I felt his tongue pierce my lips and make way into my mouth..
I was in too much shock to move a muscle..
That kiss ended up turning into a make out session..
He kept trying to part my legs with his knees, and I would push his knees away.
He moved to the side of his car and opened the door to the backseat, he tried to make me get in but I didn’t. I wouldn’t dare get into his car, I mean I know Na9er, I know what he’s capable of, but he wouldn’t hurt me, but even though, I won’t get into his car just incase someone was looking..
The kissing went on, of course he was doing all the work since I was inexperienced! That’s when I felt something..
I hope you liked it! I made it long! Just to show you how much you all mean to me! xx
Goodnight my loves, and have a splendid weekend! :)
Please comment, and give me feedback:)
I love you xx