Some other stuff..

I guess since you all know about my story with Na9er, it's only fair to share this with you..

Just a fair warning, there's a fair bit of cursing....

So..

Me and Na9er have been friends for so long, our relationship didn't kill our friendship, though we do still hold some feelings for each other, it does not change our friendship in any way. I know he has feelings for me as he has confessed it! He has repeatedly said "I love you" and "I miss you" to me! And he asks me if I still love him! I keep replying that in a way, I do, but I can't in anyway be involved with him because of our past, it was too hurtful; in return, he states he "I know, and anyway I don't do relationships," because they fuck up his brain with doubt.

I went for a vacation with my family, and turned off my bbm - he only has my pin, he doesn't have my number - and so he couldn't talk to me. Keep in mind that before I left, we got into a fight. Here's why, Na9er is going to study abroad, and while we were once talking about him leaving, I asked if he's going to keep his bbm, and he replies that he wants to "leave his past" in Kuwait, and that I'm "a part of his past," THAT enraged me, but I just sucked it up, and put a smile on my face acting like I didn't give two shits about it. But before I left for my trip, I told him I was shutting off my bbm during the trip, and he threw a fit! Asking how are we going to talk, if I can text him, and those shit, I replied asking why did he care about talking to me or not, he's leaving his "past" behind anyway, and I'm "a part of his past" and I SWEAR, if he was sitting next to me, this is where he'd have me pinned down and yelling in my face. He said, "OF COURSE I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOU! YOU'RE Q(or as you know me, Maisa)!!!!!! HOW CAN I NOT TALK TO YOU!!!!" Excuse me, but wasn't he the one who said I was a part of his past? Way to twist words mother fucker. Anyway, I cut it off then, saying that the plane was boarding, and I needed to go. I shut my phone off, and enjoyed my trip with my family.

When I came back though....

He throws a bomb at me.

HE is NOW in a RELATIONSHIP.

I just started at my screen dumb-foundedly.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT?! JUMP UP AND DOWN WITH JOY?!

I called the chick "a lucky girl"....

Now I can handle him getting in a relationship, I don't care WHAT he chooses to do with his emotions or to who he chooses to put them into, I've had enough pain from Na9er, just don't fucking tell me "I don't do relationships" and a few weeks later you're with someone. I don't take hypocrisy well.

What has actually been bothering me about the whole situation, is I'm not sure if he's lying to check out my reaction, or he's being dead serious. I get random bbms from him,

1. "My dear Maisaaa, I miss you dearly!"

2. "Hiii", "How are you doing pretty!"

3. "I miss you" (to which I replied with an "uhh..." and he asks why I'm hating on him? You asshole, you're "with" someone! And also says I'm COLD?! No, I'm respecting your relationship you worthless piece of shit!!!!!)

I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do! I barely talk to him now because bru7'ha his "girlfriend" doesn't trust him that much:) Ygoul she trusts him, but she's still worried he'll cheat on her, and thats why I'm not giving him a chance to use me as the mistress, nor am I giving him a chance to hurt her! How he hurt me was brutal! And I don't want another girl to go through what I went through!

Help? What do you guys think of this? Is he bullshitting me, or is he saying the truth?

I am being somewhat cold, and my friends say to keep at it, he'll come back crawling like a dog, which he is already sort of doing.... He bbms me daily, hii and how are you kind of shit..

HELP. Seriously. I want YOUR point of view, because people can see things you don't see.. :(

And about the story, I'll post as soon as I can<3

Much love,

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Epilogue.

Stupid In Love - Epilogue
With much anticipation.. Here you go.. It might sound a little out of track at times, but once you get through it all, you'll understand:) 


Here we go.. xx

------

After Na9er, a lot of things changed.. Both for the better and for the worse.. 
I lost a love, but I gained a friend. I lost friends, but I gained so much more friends, and I gained strength. I gained the ability to believe in myself more.

I lost Na9er as my lover, but I gained him as a friend. Sure, I miss how we used to constantly text and call each other, but he still calls me at random times, and I still text him at random times too.. Na9er's voice still has a strong affect on me. It gives me tingles and butterflies that are like shock waves throughout every inch of my body.. But el7imdallah, I have something called self control, asta7mil nafsii o kil a7asisi le2ana our friendship is important to me.

Remember in the very beginning of the story, I told you about the time I saw Na9er with Jawa and 3anoud? And how I wish I knew then what I knew now? Well yes, everything between me and Jawa came spiraling downwards a few months after Na9er.. 

It came up to the point of my birthday, Na9er forgot my birthday, tithayegt.. I'm not going to deny it and say that it didn't matter to me, because it did.. His birthday was still a few months away but I still remembered it and I would call or send him a message at the least saying happy birthday! Wela etha ma gedart, at the least I would get my ass up and wish him a happy birthday via MSN.. I told Jawa, I told her he didn't wish me a happy birthday, and she told me to ignore him, he's not worth it, mu lazim a7arig a39abii o ajra7 nafsii 3alaih.. 

"you're right.." I told Jawa, "mashkoura 7abeebtii, wallah madrii shasawii bidounich!" I pouted and hugged Jawa
"Hahaha! Shda3wa 7abeebtii!" she hugged me back and kissed my cheek

I didn't expect shit from Na9er after that.. Because when you get your hopes up, they always - well not always, but most of the time - they get shattered.. So I didn't talk to him, I didn't need to talk to him.. It's not like I'm going to get a birthday kiss, or birthday sex, or anything at all from him :)
But two days after my conversation with Jawa;

Na9er;* says: hey, Happy Birthday, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the other day but I was going through a lot of shit
M says: hii, thanks, don't worry about it:) 
Na9er;* says: kk

Goul wallah? That's it? I would at the least expect you to say sorry one more time Na9er!
I told Jawa, actually I copy-pasted the conversation to Jawa.

"Ashwah, galich. L2na ana zafaytah, I told him that even though you're not together he should at least have the decency to wish you a happy birthday!" she told me

Welaw ma yet min Na9er ebnafsah, it still felt like something, so I thanked Jawa, she knew how to make things better, 7eta etha kan shibir bes.. 

But back to how things started spiraling downward..
Jawa was with someone, but that's a whole other story, and its not for me to tell.. Its not my story or secret.. Its hers.. O e7tiraman laha, I'll just state the points where it had us in a jam..

The first time ever that someone saw me, he told Jawa that he thought that I was hot.. He shouldn't have said that, because as a girl, ra7 ykoun feeh gheera! It's only natural! Also, he brought his friend along with him, so it wouldn't be awkward with the 3 of us.. His friend was "tikana" or more like thijeel, mu ebsir3a e6ayi7 elmiyana.. You get what I mean? 
Well guess what? Within 10 minutes he was laughing with me and we were joking around! I'm like that, when you get to know me, you'll see I'm not how people put me! 
Later, as time went on, we found out he was cheating on Jawa.. I didn't like it, AT ALL! I kept pressuring her to leave him.. Because she deserves someone so much better! I guess Jawa took it the wrong way.. She slowly stopped telling me about what was happening with them.. I used to find out from 3anoud.. Elbint makant tadrii enii makint adrii.. But I acted like I knew everything.. 
Honestly, I got sick of that; aren't I your best friend?! Wela kan bes esim o shakel?! The tension between us got worse.. When I hear something, mathalan ina Jawa gayla shay 3annii, I would believe them.. 
One thing led to another, and soon enough we weren't friends anymore.. 
After that, me, 3anoud and Loujain slowly started drifting apart too.. Loujain men awal.. But that's another story.. 
I lost them as friends, but I gained other girls as friends, I gained also male friends.. Some who I now trust with my life..

One of them was Fayye. Me and Fayye were friends for some time min ayam me and Jawa were still friends, but as days went by, we became tighter and tighter.. So tight we would have conversations that would go late into the night.. My mother approved of Fayye, she liked her, kanaw eqashmiroun weya ba3ath over the phone and all of those sort.. 
Fayye never judged me in any way at all.. Instead she used to tell me that whatever made me happy made her happy, and she would back me up with whatever I decided to do.. With her I was really me..
I'm always me with anyone, bes lemma et9eer 7azat elfa9la, it's not the real genuine fa9la that it actually should be.. 

Anyway.. 

The day after I left Na9er, I remember surfing the web trying to find depressing songs - because theres something with our sub-conscience that tends to link every depressing song or situation to you; for example listen to a song about losing a loved one at war, if a part comes along and says I loved you so much, I can't believe you're gone; they're talking about death, but you linked it to losing you're significant other.. Unfortunately we're wired that way;p - I came across a song, that had me gasping to catch my breath.

I was standing at my dressing table, downloading whatever depressing song that came along, tears slowly crawling down my cheek, creeping into the creases my mouth made from the frown that was already formed on my face, and into my mouth..
I tasted my tears, the saltiness, and I wondered how I wasn't dehydrated yet.. 
I wiped my tears, looked at the puffy eyed, heartbroken girl I saw in the mirror, I looked her straight in the eye and told her;
"Maisa. Besich bachy. Etha el7mar lail7een ma dag 3alaich, 3ayal kilish ma haza ree7."   

It is HIS loss, I thought to myself.

I was scrolling down the web page when I saw a title that interested me, I clicked on it and waited for the words to start pouring out of my speakers..

A nice easy beat started, and the title of the song was said over and over again..

"mmm.. Stupid in love.. Ohh.. Stupid in love.." 
Rihanna's melodic voice said..
Not only is it called Stupid In Love, but Rihanna was the one who was singing it..
His favorite singer..

My breathing started to get heavy. My heart was heavy and my knees were weak. I tried to breathe but I couldn't, my head was spinning and I was getting dizzy. 
I held on to the corner of my dressing table, I jabbed my fingers into the carvings at the edge hoping it would help keep me on my feet..

"Katie told me that this would be nothing but a waste of time....." 
Right away Jawa came to mind, she warned me.. 
"and she was right.."


The chorus took it's part in the symphony of my heart..
"this is stupid, I'm not stupid, don't talk to me like I'm stupid in love, I still love you but I just can't do this, I may be dumb but I'm not stupid.." 

Right then, every strength I had left in my knees that allowed me to still be up on my feet failed me.
The ground gave way for my body to collapse on it.
I was laying sideways on the ground, hugging my knees to my chest while I let out everything in me.
The tears I cried didn't look nor feel like normal tears, they were like jumbo droplets of water that usually form when you leave the faucet slightly turned on.

The song kept going..and I just laid there on the ground, shattered beyond repair.. 

"You don't know what you've lost, and you won't realize until I'm gone, gone, gone! That I was the one, which one of us is really dumb?" Rihanna asked

By then, I already started this story.. We were at the very beginning.. And RiRi was the inspiration to the title.. 

The song doesn't affect me anymore, not in the slightest bit.. 
Na9er was a phase, mar7ala min 3umry o 3adat.. Il7imdellah :) 

All of you, every single one of my readers, now know exactly how I felt towards Na9er. What I used to feel, and what I DO feel now.
And so, I think it is only fair to let you know how I feel towards a couple other characters.. 

I'm going to start with Fayye;
   Fayye, there's no words to describe how much she means to me. She's the first one I run to when something happens, shes my save haven. I know whatever I'm feeling, whatever I'm saying, it's all locked up tight in a safe, that's located in a tower, guarded by a fire breathing dragon that no one has ever defeated.
We've shared every tear and laugh since the day we met. 
A7mid washkir rabby ebkil 9alah ina an3amnii eb a best friend like Fayye, le2na she's not only my best friend, she's my sister..
Fayye, if by any chance you're reading this right now, I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me, for taking all the tears I've cried, and all the moments which obviously proved I should be thrown in the mental ward of a hospital:p but instead of just standing there laughing, you'd join me on my crazy adventures just to make it a memory that we could both share.
I truly, unconditionally, love you. 



Jawa;
   Jawa, Jawa, Jawa.. I know for a fact that you're reading this right now.. And honestly, I don't know where to start.. We've been friends for so long.. And to suddenly have everything yanked out from us wasn't easy on me.. It used to always be just us. You used to finish my sentences, you would know what I wanted to say before I even said a thing, you knew everything I did and didn't like..
It hurts to know that I don't share my life with you anymore..
Sometimes I wish I could just erase all the drama we encountered with the opposite sex.. Maybe then, we'd still be as strong as ever, if not stronger..
I miss you, and I wish you all the best, with everything, I truly do. 
And I hope you know, that all the things I did, I did it for you, just so you could see what you truly deserved, not someone who constantly tore you apart.



Na9er;
   I don't hate you, but I don't love you either.. You've made me so much stronger now than when I first met you. You gave me happiness at some point of my life, and I thank you for that, but its because of you, I know that not all guys are bad. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and I'll never forget the way you looked at me every time, especially when you told me you missed me.. I'll be here when you need me. I'm still your friend, just like I was at the very beginning of all this..
I know you'll never read this, but maybe one day you'll know.. Just like everybody else knows I'll always be there..   

------



And with that, I end my story of being "stupid in love".. 

Please, keep your heart locked up until you know for sure, whoever is unlocking it is worth it.. 
I never want any of you to get hurt like I did, because the pain is unbearable, and in a society like ours, love is rarely found. Every hormonal male in our society knows exactly what we want to hear, and so they feed it to us.. 

Always remember, you belong to yourself and no one else's; like Jessica Simpson said,
"I belong to me, I don't belong to you, I'm one not half of two, so if you're gonna love me, then you should know this baby, I belong to me".. 

Your feedback is much appreciated, and I'll be waiting to see what you guys have to say about the end! :D
I'm sorry for taking long, but there you go;*

This is Q, leaving you with the end of Stupid In Love:)
My life in words for you to feel and relate to.

I love you all;**

Enjoy the rest of your summer!;*                           

Stupid In Love. Post 19 & 20. (The Finale)

Ahh.. My amazing readers.. My FAMILY. You are the ROCK and the REASON this blog is still alive today. At the end of this post, comes the end of a second story.. Another life you've lived with me.. Another whirlwind of emotions we've felt together. I can't believe it's about to come to an end.. Wow..

Well here goes nothing..

*-*-*-*

Something shook my table so hard, I jumped in terror. I walked to my table and looked down..

My oh my..

Guess who..

Na9er :)

El7ilu qarrar yidig:O

Didn't I tell you all? I'll make him come back. :)

I looked at my phone and raised an eyebrow with a smirk on my face before I picked up.

"Aloo?" I said irritatedly

"Aloo" He said

"Hii?" I asked

"Hey" was his reply

"Mmm..?"

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked

"Really?" I said

"Yeah, really" He replied

"Mu min9ijik sa7? Mu inta ile gayilee latdigeen 3alay?" I almost laughed

"I said that then because I was mad" He defended

"So you told me not to call you. I obeyed" I told him, "if you didn't mean it, why didn't you call me?" I asked him

"I wanted to see if you'd call" he said

"Aha. Well weren't you the one who said 'You know what?! Don't call me! Okay?! Don't call me!' huh? Wasn't it you? Or was it someone else?" I asked him stating what he said a week ago, but he didn't answer me.

"Okay. Na9er. Do you want to be with me or not? Because if you don't, I'll just leave." I said, "so yeah, tell me. Do you want to be with me or not?"

"Honestly?" He said

"La, not honestly. AKEED HONESTLY." I said

"No." He said, "I don't want to be with you." he continued

"Okay then. Thank you." I said, "I have to go now, tabi shay?" I asked him

"Wain ray7a?" He asked suspiciously

"Ba6la3 with my friend" I told him

"Mwa3da?" He asked sounding jealous

"NA3AM?!" I almost screamed

"Mwa3da?" He asked again

"Shaku mwa3da?!" I screamed

"3ayal wain betrou7een?" He asked

"We have a Halloween party tomorrow. We're going to get costumes." I said sincerely. I wasn't lying! So why should I hide anything?! Right?!

"Okay.." He said

"Yallah, I'm going to go. If you want anything, message me." I told him and hung up

I'm not in the mood to talk to him on the phone after what he said! Wila enshallah shayifnii sahla ya3nii?!

I picked up my Louis Vuitton Speedy bag and walked out of my room flicking the lights off as I left.

The deal was to meet up at Soug Sharg and get some coffee and then start the hunt.

As we walked around sipping our coffee, something caught my eye. And it was like a light bulb flicked on in my head.

What I saw were a pair of ears. Yes. EARS. Kitten, Leopard, and Rabbit ears.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at the stand outside of Claire's... Hmm.. Call them or not? I'M SO CALLING THEM!

I called Jawa and 3anoud and told them of what I found, and I put out my cards.. My idea..

I'd get us each a set of ears. The same color. And we'd get all dressed up as cats. Sexy, feisty cats. Something that would make a guy in the street stop and stare. Make him fantasize of what she could possibly do if she would flirt with him. THAT type of cats;) They were in. They were so excited over this, it's the first time we ever went to the extreme with costumes.

Now, the next night.. Was when we'd shock all the party people.

The night of the party; the girls came over to my place to get ready.

I remember me and Na9er were constantly texting that night, but why, or over what I'm not sure. :s

You know when Charlie's Angels walk in somewhere? How the three of them look so different, yet are so connected in some way? Yup! That was us when we walked in.

We payed our formalities with the other girls, then picked our sofa.

I remember him calling me in the middle of the party. He told me to hang up, but I wouldn't allow it. He had to let it out. And so, he told me that he was no good for me, but me, being the stubborn girl that I am, I told him off. I told him that it was my decision, and that it was my heart on the line, and not his. He also told me that he doesn't deserve my love, and yet again, I told him that it's not up to him who I fall in love with, and it's not something I can control.

That kind of killed my party buzz..

But my girls were quick to bring it back up, and I loved them for doing that!

But the real drama was yet to come..

-------------------------(Part 20)-------------------------

The Finale

The day after the party, I sat and thought to myself..

Maybe he has a point..

I tried..

I gave him my heart.. I cried so much over him.. I called, I practically begged him to make me his!

Wow, that looked like I was desperate..

Maybe someone else deserves my love? Someone who'll love me so much better than Na9er has ever loved me..

I kept thinking..

And my heart, and my mind was torn between two, to either walk away or to take whatever Na9er flings my way..

I called Jawa and talked to her for approximately an hour.. We weighed the pros and cons of my situation.

Na9er was a great guy, RAYYAL! He's a man for Gods sake! He can keep me safe! Someone lays a finger on me, he'll break it! He LOVES kids! Which shows he'll be a great father one day..

He was flirty, that's good and bad..

And the list went on and on..

It all weighed each other out..

I had my answer...

This is the end of the road for us..

I couldn't call Na9er..

Just the sound of his voice would make me stay..

I had to do it the easy way..

Easy, but still tough..

It was through MSN..

I got online, with me fighting back tears. Chocking on them actually..

I opened a conversation with him..

And that's when all the tears came rushing out, like a waterfall that drowned my eyes, I could barely see what I was typing.

"Na9er. I've had enough. You had a point. I deserve someone better. And that's what I'm doing. I'm leaving. I'm erasing you out of my life. Bye. And I swear to you, you'll never find someone like me, you just wait and see."

I clicked enter.

Then I clicked block.

And last but not least. I clicked DELETE.

Part one, accomplished.

Next,

I deleted all his messages, cleared out my call log, and turned off my phone.

Part two, complete.

Now, for part three..

The depression, and the crying..

Man, oh man..

I locked myself up all week.. I cried and cried and cried..

And because of the depression, I BEGGED for a trip to the chalet. And.. I got it.. I need this..

It's been a while since I got on MSN from my phone, and when I did, he was there..

Yeah, you read that correctly, HE was there! As in NA9ER was there! On my contact list! Are you kidding me?! Are you fucking messing with me?!

Na9er says:

Hey

M;* says:

Hi

Na9er says:

Why's your phone turned off?

M;* says:

Because I turned it off?

Na9er says:

I need to talk to you

M;* says:

Not now. I'm going to bed.

Na9er says:

Can you call me tomorrow? Please.

M;* says:

Khair enshallah. I'll see what I can do.

Na9er says:

Please. And thank you.

I think he lost his mind. NOW he's looking for me?!

Na9er.

Two words baby.

FUCK OFF.

But..

After he told me that he needed to talk to me, there is no way in hell that I can let it go. I WANT to know now.

That dude knows how to push my buttons, and I hated that :(

I went to sleep with nothing but curiosity.. Hey, don't judge me. When you put yourself in my shoes, you'd probably know how it feels.

I woke up at around 8am. Min Allah, chithe ga3adt eb hal 7ezza. I washed up and got dressed and headed out for a morning walk.. It was refreshing.. The morning breeze, the music tantalizing every nerve in my brain.. I loved it..

Around 9am, I turned on my phone to find a message from Na9er, asking me to call him when I see this. His message came at around 8:45-ish in the morning..

I took a deep breath, and called him.. And within a few rings, he picked up..

"Aloo" he said

"Hii.." I whispered

"It's nice to hear your voice.." he told me

"Yours too.." I said

"Shlounich?" he asked me

"El7imdellah, I'm good.. What about you?" I asked

"Good good.." He trailed off

There was an awkward silence before I asked him,

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Maisa, awal shay, abii at2aseflich for everything I said.. I'm sorry, I was a complete jerk.. I didn't mean to do that to you.." he said

"Mmm.." I said

"You didn't deserve that.." he told me

"Na9er, I cried like fuck over you." I told him

"You said you get over someone fast" he reminded me

"I know what I said. And yes I do. But I kept everything bottled up inside until I finally broke down!" I jabbed into him

He was quiet..

I was quiet..

I just breathed into the phone.. It slowly got heavier at the sound of his voice, and how apologetic it sounded.. But I took a deep breathe and calmed myself down before I would allow a tear to come rolling out.

"Well, I called to apologize to you. And I want you to forgive me for everything I've done to you.. I didn't mean it. I just wanted to push you away, but I didn't know how, and I guess I did it the wrong way.. We're grown, and just cutting things off like that seems childish.." he said

"Yup, we're grown.." I repeated

"I mean, also, it's with my friends.. Like for me, when I get involved and I get attached then lose them, I just stop caring about everything, and I just can't afford that now.." he said

"Na9er! You don't just drop everything! You use it as a way to help you cope! To keep yourself busy!" I laughed

"Yeah, well I'm not like that.. I lock myself up.. I stray from my friends, I stop studying, and I just don't care.." he said

"Yeah, well you don't have to worry about that anymore.." I smiled

"I guess.. But I still want us to be friends.. And again, I'm sorry for hurting you.." he said again

"Don't worry about it!" I told him, "I'm sorry hun, but I have to go.." I acted disappointed

"It's okay.." He said, "and thank you for hearing me out.."

"Nooo problemmm!" I said, "Later.."

"Later" he mimicked

Wow.. Funny how everything turns out, eh?

I re-added Na9er to my MSN contact list.. We talked a couple times.. We became friends.. It was.. NORMAL.

But one day..

One day..

What I said would happen, HAPPENED.

Me and Na9er were talking.. And he asked me..

"Do you miss me?"

I was in awe.

Seriously? Did he just ask me that?

"Honestly?" I asked him

"Yes" he replied

"Sometimes.. I do.." I told him, "I don't miss the pain, but I sure miss all the fun times we had.." I added

"K" was his reply

Hurts, yeah? It's good you got a taste of your own medicine..

"Do YOU miss ME?" I asked him {PS: I was being sarcastic :)}

"Yes.." He said

"How much?;p" Kint ga3da asta3bi6, mu min 9ijjy! :O

"Alot.." he admitted..

My heart, STOPPED.

It happened.

I made him miss me.

Even though I brushed that encounter off, we still talk, and he still calls sometimes. Not like best friends, but we ask about each other from time to time.. And honestly, it's nice to know that I didn't lose him.. We were friends before this started.. Well, not for long, but we were friends.. And it was fun..

And I guess the answer to that question of, "Can you be friends with your ex?", is yes. As long as you both can put your differences aside, and be there for each other, and support each other.. Then it's all good..

My story with Na9er hasn't ended.. It's a start of a new friendship. I might never be his girl, and he might never be my man.. But in the end of the day, I know that if I need someone to lean on, he's there for me.. I leaned on him when there was tension with me and my friends, with me and my mother, with my brother, with anyone.. And he was there, he gave me advice that helped me with whatever situation I'm in..

A part of me will always love Na9er as more than a friend, I'll always remember him as my first kiss, I'll always remember the way his eyes look, and how he looks at me sometimes. I'll always remember how he laughs, and how he smiles that devilish smile of his.. Maybe I'll get jealous when I know he's not mine, that's just how us girls are.. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that I'll always be happy for him no matter who he's with, or what he's doing. As long as he's happy, I'll be more than happy..

There will always be that special someone that'll come into your life and affect you in so many way, good or bad, but it'll just show you how life is unpredictable, and how the slightest change, can change the course of nature completely.

*-*-*-*

Wow.. The end of another story.. How overwhelming.. But that's another step you guys moved forward with me..

I love you all!

Thank you for all the support you've given me through this whole year! And yes, WOW! It HAS been a year! Oh my Gosh!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Have an amazing summer! Enjoy it wherever you guys are!

And hopefully, when I get back, I'll have something new for you all:*

I love you;

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Part 17 & 18.

I'll be out of here soon......

And if I get everything out perfectly, the story might end at part 20....

And hopefully, as soon as I get back, I might start another story... Lets see how well inspiration works with me while I'm gone, shall we? ;)

Each and everyone of you mean so much to me! Your support makes me so much stronger! Thank you! No matter how many times I say thank you, it won't be enough!

You don't know me, yet you're like my best friend! Living each moment with me, feeling what I'm feeling! I hope I give out as much emotion as I feel while writing these posts for you:*

So....

Without further ado, here's part 17 of Stupid In Love. :)

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"Yallah, thilfay. Bye" and he hung up.

Na9er said that to me.

Was I dreaming it.

What was going on?!

What did I miss?!

What did I do?!

NA9ER!

WHAAAAAT?!

There, I looked like someone slapped me. So hard, my eyes were bulging out. So hard, my jaw dropped open, so big, I could feel the grass bristles on my chin.

"Uhh.. Uhhh.." I said, looking at Layal

"Shfeech?!" She asked

She ran to me and sat on the ground in front of me. She looked up to my eyes and saw the shock. It was practically like electric volts shooting out.

"SHGAL!?" she yelled

"Gally.. Gally.." I stammered

"SHGAL! TA7ACHAY!" She shook me

"Gally.. Thilfay.." I said and looked her back in her big dark brown eyes

"You're kidding right?" she asked me

"No.." I said in a low voice

"Snap out of this and fight back!" She told me

I got up, took a deep breathe, and walked away..

"Maisa!" She yelled

"Wait, you just wait.." I said

"MAISA! RIDAY 3ALAY!" She screamed louder

I turned around and looked at her.

I pulled out my phone, and punched Jawa's number in, and within seconds she picked up;

"Hala ib 7abeebtii!" she said

"You won't believe what just happened." I said

"Ha? Shfeech? What the fuck happened now?!" She said, "Sar shay 9a7?! Embayin min 9outich! Spill!" She yelled

"Gally athlif" I smiled

"La la, you're kidding 9a7?" she said in shock too

"Nope. I'm being serious. Do I SOUND like I'm kidding?!" I yelled

"And what did you say!?" she asked

"I hung up! Shbagoul ya3nii?!" I said

"MAISA! This isn't you! Min mita etkhaleen a7ed eghali6 3alaich?! You call him back and kick his fucking ass! You get that?!" She told me

"La 7abeebtii, I'm not calling back. I'm texting him. He'll hear my voice and I'll be yelling and he'll just yell back. I know him." I told her

"INZAIN SAWAY SHAY!" She said

"Ya zift! Basawii shay! Akalmich ba3dain, let me handle this." I told her

"You leave him, you fucking leave him. You deserve someone so much better!" I yelled

"Oh I know that, I'm going to make me him want me like fuck. You just wait and see. Ma6la3 bint oboy etha makhalayta yit7asef." I said

"Good! Now that's my girl!" She clapped

"Yeah, okay. Akalmich ba3dain." I said and hung up.

I started to walk back to Layal with so much determination in me.

"Emshay il baranda" I told her

I guess she saw the anger and determination in my eyes that she feared to say a word. She just walked behind me, and followed me like a stray puppy to the baranda.

I sat down, and pulled out my phone.

"I'm going to show you." I said in between my teeth.

I started writing the message to Na9er;

"Thelfay ha? Okay Na9er. This is it, if you can't respect me, then don't call me, and don't message me anymore. I'm not here for you to be disrespectful to me. Ga3adt wela mishayt sar 3indy nafs elshay, bel a5a9 3ugb ma giltly thelfay. So, good luck, and goodbye;)"

and I clicked send.

I waited for it to send completely. When it did, I sat back, raised my legs to rest on the railings of the balcony, and breathed in the fresh salty breeze..

A second later, my phone starts vibrating, I look down.. I think you know who it is..

Na9er :)

I showed it to Layal, then counted to 5..

1..

2..

3..

4..

5..

Deep breathe..

"Aloo." I said annoyed

"Are you serious about your message?" He asked me

"Yes. I'm serious. You called, ma shifta. I call you back tgouly rou7ay thilfay?! Wain ga3deen Na9er! Mani a9ghar 3yalik!" I yelled, I could feel the rage shaking him so hard, "oo ana kila ilee adig! It's like I'M running after you o inta matabii! That's it! Manii daga oo arkith warak oo akhrat'ha tgoulii hal 7achii!" I kept yelling

He was speechless..

Right then, my other phone started ringing and it was my mother.

"I have to go Na9er. When you know what you want, you know where to find me." I stated, and hung up.

My mother was just asking where we were, and asked us to go inside since it was getting kind of chilly.

We walked to my chalet, and collapsed on the sofa..

"Ufff!" Layal said

"Ta3abtay ha?" I smiled

"Eeeh! Wayid!" She laughed

"Mmm.. I want food" I said

"Me too!" She jumped

"Emshay, lets get il kakaw min il ma6ba5" I told her

We walked to the kitchen and got a hold of the food we bought, then went back and watched Charmed on MBC 4.

For 10 minutes, Na9er wasn't present in my mind.. :)

When I checked my phone again, oh wow.. A missed call.. :)

I showed it to Layal and laughed.

"Mu giltlich, he'll come running back?" I told her, then called him

"You called?" I asked

"Tawich tgouleen kila you call and I don't pick up, or I'm too busy to pick up o I only message you! Now who's not picking up!?" He yelled

"It was on silent oo shayla il vibrate! This is once! Inta kil mara!" I retorded

"You know what, don't call me." He said

"You don't want me to call you?!" I asked him almost bursting into laughter

"No, don't call me." he said again

"Okay, I won't call you." I laughed

"Okay. Bye." He said

"BYE." I said and hung up.

Okay. The dude had serious issues. Right?

3nad 3alaih, I turned off the phone :) Oh yes I did. He doesn't want me to call him, I will not fucking call him. I will not lose myself for him - even though I sorta kinda already did - but that's not what we're talking about right now.

I packed up my stuff, and that night, I'm heading home.

I'm gnna be strong.

----------------------------(Part 18)----------------------------

The drive home, was the complete opposite of the drive to chalet.

This drive, it was depressing songs. This time, it was anger that raged inside of me towards Na9er. How could he say something like that to me?! Ana al7een shsawait?! Out of the blue he tells me thelfay?! Inta ethlif!

I came home and made my way to my room, I flung my bag on my bed, and went to the bathroom to have a relaxing shower.. I need my alone time..

Half an hour of sitting under hot water, hugging my knees to my chest, just letting the water wash over me and take over my senses.. My eyes closed, and breathing so calmly..

My thoughts went back to the time when boys were nothing to us.. When boys to us girls were icky, and ugly. When we used to run from them just because we thought they had cooties. And now, almost every teenage girls' life revolves around a boy. And that boy, well, he'll probably just cause her heartbreak, pain, and give her a bunch of sleepless nights of her drowning her pillow with tears.

Why do we girls need boys? We don't need them, we're independent.. We're living in a period of time where women can hold their own! Then why ladies do we need men?! WHY!?

I keep asking myself that..

See, we'll never know the answer, but it's the simple law of attraction.. A man is always attracted to a woman, as a woman shall always be attracted to a man..

For the rest of the week, I've avoided calling him, messaging him, or even talking to him on MSN.

I'm standing my ground you jerk. Like I said, I'll make him regret it.

My girls stood by me, whenever I had this urge to call him, I'd call one of them up. And right then, they'd kill my urge to call him.

A week went by..

Saturday was the day he told me not to call him..

Sunday.. Nothing...

Monday.. Still nothing...

Tuesday.. I'm still waiting...

Wednesday.. I'm still waiting... I'm losing hope....

Thursday... I've lost hope... He's not gonna call me... I know it...

It was October 30th, 2009.

I don't know how I still remember the date. I think it was just that significant part of my life..

Me and 3anoud had a day planned to go shop for Halloween costumes. But unfortunately she couldn't make it. So I called up another friend and drove around the bright streets of Kuwait City trying to get a costume..

Before I headed out..

Something on the table started to shake..

*-*-*-*

Two posts in one! I know Part 18 isn't long, but I'll make it up to you all!:*

I love you all so much! I hope you liked it!:*

Stupid In Love. Part 16.

My loves! I'm sorry for taking so long, but I've been really busy! I'm sorry my darlings! I'll try to finish the story before I leave for the summer, because I won't be posting anything while I'm away:( I'm sorry.

But here's part 16 :) I hope you enjoy it!

*-*-*-*

Well the distance.. I'll tell you what it did to us.. This is what happened..

After I went home and packed up, I left with my parents.. And the whole ride there, I had my iPod on, and my headphones in my ear, listening to music that reminded me of him, songs that had me smile at the thought of his lips on mine..

It was like I was in one of those romantic movies, we'd be driving, I'd be staring out the window, quietly singing along to the songs, smiling, with the boy I'm in love with running around in my head.. If it was real, and he really was running around, I think he'd be knocked out cold right now! But that doesn't matter.. What matters is that I had him, he was mine.. No one could take him away, not as long as I'm alive, not as long as we BOTH chose to be with each other.

The minute we got to the chalet, I smiled, and it was like a weight was lifted off my heart.. Like you were being cramped under a boulder, where you can't breathe or move, but someone just came and took it off of your chest, that's how it was like with me, the chalet, and the beach.. It was my escape, whenever I needed a place to run to, I'd hold it all in, just to that special moment where I know I'd be there and everything will be erased, where I can think of a solution to all my worries..

I went up to my room and dropped all my stuff, I took my iPhone, my headphones, my phone, and I left;

"Mama ana 6al3a atmasha" I yelled to my mother and I left

I walked around, looked at the captivating moonlight shine across over the big dark gulf.. I wondered, how would it be like if I had Na9er with me? What would he do? Would he hold me in his arms, and kiss me? Would he stare at me? What would he do? But I guess that's something I won't know, right?

I sent Na9er a message, telling him I got there, ta7amadlii bil salama, and told me that he's with friends, he'll talk to me later hopefully. I told him it was fine, and we'll talk soon.. I was too drained to stay up honestly, so I walked around a bit, listening to music that soothed and fed my soul, fed it with every nutrient it needed, love, hope, faith, strength, everything! You name it, it fed me! An hour or so after walking around, I called it a night.. I sent him a message telling him I was drained, and I'm going to bed, he told me it was okay, and he bid his goodnight and I left..

Tomorrow's a new day.. Another chance to life, to either make it better, or, well.. Dwell on the bad shit you did in the past.. But hey, make it better, because nothing is worth it!;)

I woke up the next morning to my cousin shaking me..

"Maisa? Mayous! Goumay!" Layal said

"Hmm? Sh9ayir?!" I woke up

"Mu 9ayir shay, bes yallah goumay!" she giggled

"Mmmzain!" I said and got out of my bed, "ni6ray! ya wailich enmishaytay!" I told her

"Hehe okay" she said

I went to the bathroom and got cleaned up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face and got dressed. I wore my GAP hoodie with tights and my UGG boots, I pulled my hair into a bun, and that was it for me.

"Yallah?" I asked

"Yallah!" She smiled

"Tarayagtay?" I asked her

"La2, yait aga3dich 3ashan enrou7 nitrayag.. Etrou7een Cafe 26? We'll get something from there.." She said

"Yeah, sure, ma3indii mani3, bes khan nis2el awal.." I told her

"Ee, si2lay, omii matgoul shay madamii wiyach" she said

and it was true, murt 3amii matgoul shay as long as Layal was with me, see I'm the goody-too-shoes in the family, so I was trusted really well..

I asked my mother and she said we can go; so we headed for breakfast at a cafe.. how exciting with us ashkalna chithii!;p

While we ate, I told her about Na9er.. I told her everything.. She beamed, she saw in him everything I saw.. She liked him.. She was like my little sister, since she had no sisters, she'd run to me when something happened. Sure, sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own worlds, but once we reconnect, we're inseparable..

We headed back to the chalet and Na9er sent me a message;

"Gm;*" he said

"Morning honey;*" I replied

"I feel like driving.." I looked at Layal with a mischief in my eyes

"DRIVE!" She grinned

the point of the driving is to go crazy together

I ran to my mother and nagged her to let me drive my fathers car, and since my father was out of the country oo tabii il fakka minii, she said okay;p

We got into the car, blasted the stereo, and drove around dancing and singing; Layal kept taking pictures of me, every little move, she snapped it.

As I drove out of the gate, Layal's brother swung the gate forward, the next thing I knew..

I hear a screech..

a HUGE scratch on the car.. :)

Oh wow.. My father shall have my head!

I backed up, and drove to my mother. I told her what happened and she was as worried and scared of my father's reaction as I was!

I ran up the stairs to my room with Layal and locked the door. We sat on my bed and stared at each other, still in shock.. Did that really happen? We laughed out, but the kind that went haha then you stop, still reminiscing.

"Call Na9er! Tell him what happened, maybe he can help!" She told me

"Uhm, okay. I won't call, I'll send him a message." I told her

"Just do something!" She ushered

"Okay!" I said as I punched the four letter word - SHIT - into a new composed message.

"What?" was the reply I got

I told him what happened, and he called me laughing; can you believe it?! He's laughing at me.

"Na9er! Instead of laughing, help me?!" I yelled

"Shasawii?!" He laughed

"Madrii! Bes shagoul 7eg uboy when he asks!" I told him

"You can't say anything, you busted his car" I could feel him smile on the other side of the phone.

"Okay." I pouted, "I'll talk to you later okay?" I told him

"Okay" he told me

Me and Layal decided to take a walk.. We started on the beach, then made our way up to the garden. I was still scared of my fathers reaction.. So I was constantly in contact with him via messages...

I tucked my phone in my pocket, and when I pulled it back out, I found a missed call from him.

I wondered why he called.. So I called him back..

"Hala, you called?" I asked him

"No." He said, in a way that sounded as if he was annoyed

What the.....? I asked myself

"Um, I found a missed call from you.." I said calmly

"I didn't call." He said firmly.

"Um, okay then. I'll go, uh, bye..?" I said in a way that showed that I was dumbfounded

What he said next, still shocks me to this very day..

*-*-*-*

There you go! I hope you liked it :)

I love you all, enjoy your summer and stay safe!:*

Your feedback is appreciated! :)

Love,

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Part 15.

Part 15! :) Just for my loves! I hope you like it!:* It's not long, but it's the best I can do!

*-*-*-*

As I stood there, I felt something.. Something firm and strong make its way up.. Made its way up the side of my body, up my shirt.. It was Na9er’s hand..

He had his lips on mine, an arm around my waist, and a hand moving up my shirt. You know when you watch a movie? And it gets to a steamy part? And then the guy has his arm around her and his hand going up her shirt feeling every curve of her body and all that? Yeah.. That was it..

I quickly pulled away and moved his hand away from my body. I looked at him and he smiled, the naughty boy smile, the one that’s like I want you, that kind of smile..

Oh my God, that boy drove me wild in every way; from the way he talked, to the way he used to make fun of me. But because it was the reckless, carefree kind of thing that you only read in books, it was all good. I never thought I’d meet a guy like him, not once in my life; all I knew is what I read from blogs, and story books, and I was hoping one day I’d look around and I’ll find that story book love, and then, Na9er came along.. And I thought I found the story I want to live.

When he smiled, I looked at him, then slowly pulled my lips into a familiar smile.. One that had a story of a girl wanting to show the one she wants what he’d want and need, but wouldn’t.. A smile that teased him..

I know I know, I’m not an innocent angel. Sometimes teasing him makes me get what I want.

I giggled to myself, and he smiled at my giggles.

“Rikbay” he told me

“Arkab wain?” I asked acting stupid

“Elsayara, ba3ad wain?” he told me

“I’m not getting in” I said firmly

“ya3nii tabeen a7ed yishoufna chithii? 3adii?” he teased

“Ma7ed ra7 yishoufna, we’re kinda in a deserted place” I said

“Kaifich” he said and I smiled

I stood there and looked at him..

I finally got him..

Na9er is now mine..

All the tears I cried, everything I went through..

It was all worth it..

The boy is mine.

The BOY is MINE.

After the couple minutes of quiet, he broke the ice in a silly way, thinking of it now, I can’t help but laugh

“You can’t kiss” he laughed

I kicked him.

Yeah, I KICKED him!

“Akeed I can’t kiss! I don’t know how! Forgot you’re my first?!” I retorted

“Hahaha, yeah” he laughed

I said something that sounded so stupid!

“bes I know how to kiss!” I yelled

He laughed

“You kicked me, and told me you know how to kiss, now you kiss me, I kissed you, this time you kiss me, lets see what you can do” he teased

“I wont”

“You kicked me! You said you know how! I wanna see!” he snickered

“Mabii” I blushed

He laughed and just looked at me

He looked at me in a way I don’t know how to describe, something like, if could devour me, taste every flavor of my lips, my neck, and feel every curve of my body, he’d do so..

So I took a step back..

We were quiet for a bit..

He looked at the clock in his car..

“It’s getting late.. I think I should go, and you should go in, I don’t want your mother to call you wintay mu emsawya shay,” he ridiculed

“Yeah,” I laughed, “I better go..” I said

even though every emotion in me wanted me to turn around, kiss him so hard and then run across the street, where he can’t come after me..

“Deeray balich” he told me

“Kaaay!” I yelled and walked away

Ay deeray balich? A car almost ran me over, because I was staring at my phone, I was calling 3anoud, calling Jawa, trying to tell them what happened.

He was probably still standing there, watching me, I felt my body heat up, my neck burned and I felt beads of sweat forming. I kept walking like nothing happened. Then, I almost tripped over my own feet. Someone hit me with something!!!!!!!

I filled them in with everything, 3anoud’s reaction was,

“Now I want to have my first kiss!” she yelled and I laughed in response

The next hour or so was a hard core work out, feeling great, I was happy, I was smiling like a maniac, I was listening to up beat songs, I was over the moon..

It was pure, no strings attached joy.

I went home, packed up, and I was off to chalet.. It was time to see how the distance would do us both..

The distance..

Well..

It..

*-*-*-*

There you go!;) Part 15:) Not as long as part 14, but I’m really busy with school and everything:(

I’ll try posting a new post soon just for you guys!:*

I love you!

And good luck to you all with your finals! I know it’s hectic, but we’re almost done with this year baby!;)

Keep doing what you do best! Again, I love you!

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Part 14.

Hii there my loves x
I just want to take this time and thank each and every one of you for your ongoing support. You all have made me so much stronger, and have given me the freedom of speech I didn’t find anywhere else. You have supported me from the very beginning, and I thank you for that. You don’t know how much each and every one of you means to me.
I’m here for you all whenever I’m needed, just like you’ve been there for me from the start, that’s the only way I can pay you all back, actually, that’s not enough, but I don’t know what else I can do to pay you back. But I just hope that you can come to me when you need help with something, when you need a piece of advice, when you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here. I’ll have my hand out for you, I’ll be your big sister if you need me, I’ll be your best friend if that’s what you need. I’ll be exactly what you need.
Again, thank you for the ongoing support.
I love each and every one of you.
Xx

*-*-*-*
Now you’ve all known what happened in the first two meetings with Na9er, you’ve seen how I cried, you’ve seen how I smiled, how I giggled, and you’ve felt every thing inside of me. You’ve been me in my last posts. Now you’ll be me again.. It’s time for you to jump into my shoes another time..
Remember when Na9er told me I was lying, when I didn’t tell him I “talk” to guys and all of that? Yeah, he brought it up again, we got into some fight and he wouldn’t talk to me.
I remember calling up a friend and crying so hard, I cried like there was no tomorrow.
This friend is not one I mentioned before, she’s not even Kuwaiti, she’s Emarati, so lets just call her Flana.
“Flanaaa! I can’t do this! I can’t live like this! He knows I want him, he knows I love him! Then why all this torture?! Why does he want to keep hurting me?!” I cried into the phone
“Mimi 7ayatii, rou7ii, heday heday, eta9lee 3alaih o0 ramseeh, estafsiree emna, 3urfii why’s he acting this way?!” she consoled me
“Flana, he doesn’t want to get hurt! He’s scared I’ll hurt him!” I yelled
I remember I was sitting in a corner in my room crying, yelling into the phone when my breathing was shallow like someone was suffocating me, I was trembling so much I couldn’t hold the phone correctly.
“Sawee ilee giltlich etsaweena! I’m gonna hang up oo intee ra7 tita9lain 3alaih witramseena, tell him you want to see him, you need to talk, insist on it. Don’t step down, keep telling him you need to see him elain yiwafi8!” She instructed me
“*sniff sniff* okay, inshallah” I told her
“Yallah, wipe those tears and call him, you’re strong, I know you. Yallah 7abeebtii, nirmis ba3dain” is what she told me as I sensed a smile creep on her face
“Inshallah, and flana, thank you..” I said
“Don’t thank me, I’m your big sister” she kissed me through the phone
I hung up and got up to wash my face, it was time to calm down and get my strength back.
I was never the one to let the guy control me, I would control him, he would go crazy in attempting to control me, but soon enough, he’d leave, broken, and I’d be standing tall.
I knew calling him wouldn’t work because he’s giving me the silent treatment, so I sent him a text message.
“Hii, I need to see you.”
“No.” is what he replied
I got mad then, I got pissed, it was like fire was coming out of my ears.
“Shno no?!” I replied
“No, you don’t need to see me.”
“How the f*ck do you know?! I NEED to see you!” I told him
“I don’t want to see you.”
“Well I want to see you.” I retorted
“Say it over the phone.” He said
“No, it won’t work on the phone, I need to see you. Tomorrow.” I demanded
“I’m sick, I can’t tomorrow.” He told me
“Okay, when you’re feeling better then.”
“Okay” he told me
YES! I won! Woah! That felt good! And when I see good, like REALLY good! The smile was plastered on my face, I felt strong, once again, I’ve done it. :)
That was Monday..
Wednesday..
“Hii, are you feeling better?” I asked
“Hey, yeah I am:)” he told me
“El7imdella..” I replied
“Eeh, el7imdella:)”
2 minutes later..
“So when do you want to see me?” He asked
“Tomorrow?” I told him
“Sure, when and where?” He asked me
“I’ll tell you tomorrow” I told him
“Okay, but before school ends please”
“5ala9, wela ehimik” I comforted him

Thursday..
It was October 21st, 2009.
My day was fully planned..
School, send Na9er the location, meet him, then chalet. That was how it was going to be.
I woke up in the morning making sure my hair looked good, I made sure to take my Victoria’s Secret lip gloss with me to school, and my most complementing sweats. So after I picked my sweats, I pulled out a plain white v-neck shirt that I got from H&M. I folded them and rammed them into my bag hurriedly.
“Shit! Mascara!” I whispered in a loud voice.
I opened my drawer and pulled out my mascara, blush and eye lash curler. Yeah yeah, I know, why all that for a guy? Because if anything bad happened, I wanted to walk away looking like a goddess. Sure, not in sweats and all, but at least, I’d want him to know that he lost something. Something valuable!
I took my bag and ran down the stairs; picked up my coffee and off to school I went.
It was around 1:30 when I sent Na9er the location and time.
“Hii, so are we on for today?” I asked him
“Yup, wein?” he asked
“Um, my gym?” I asked
“Sure, ay gym?” He asked me
“Flex Family. Bneid il Gar, back parking” I told him
“Akhaf a7ed yishoufna” He said
“No don’t worry, maku a7ed, it’s abandoned, well other for lihnoud ilee feeha;p” I sent him
“Loool ok:p What time?”
“At around 3?” I asked
“Will be there:)”
“See ya” was the last thing I sent him
I started talking to 3anoud about it, and she insisted on helping me get ready since we had the last period together and I needed to get ready and knock the boy off his feet!
Bell rang, and me and 3anoud RAAAAAN to the bathroom, dodging every human being we ran into.
I locked myself in a bathroom stall and started to undress
“Maisa! Yallah!” She laughed
“Okay okay! I’m coming!” I giggled
I got out and ran to where 3anoud was;
“Eyelash curler!” I yelled as she handed it to me
You know when you look at those movies and they say something and they quickly hand over that very thing they asked for? It was like that; and before long I was done.
I ran down and when I almost got to my car.. I realized..






I forgot my school back upstairs.. In the THIRD floor bathroom.
How smart Maisa! Guess what I did? I ran to my car, threw in my bad with all my clothes, then ran back up to get my school bag.. By the time I got down stairs, I was out of breath, with beads of sweat forming at the back of my neck and the side of my face. MU WAGTAAA!! I turned on the air conditioning and got it to the highest temperature it could go to.
“Wainich?” He sent me a message
I looked at my phone; it was already past 3. SHITT!! Na9er is VERY accurate with time. When he says he’ll be there at a certain time, he’ll be there.
“Sorry! Kanii I’m 5 minutes away, i5tii ta2a5erat!:/” I lied; it was a white lie. Don’t murder me!:/
“Okay, I’m there”
2 minutes later, my driver dropped me off with my sister, and he left, I remember standing there, I looked around and didn’t see him at all.. I called him..
One ring..
Two rings..
“I see you” was the hello I got
“Yuma wainik?” I asked, “I don’t see you..”
“Come across the street, ana ayeech..” he said
“Okay, ana 3ind the silver corolla” I told him
“Okay”
and we hung up
I walked up to the silver corolla, and I saw him walk up to me..
The way he looked had me in a daze..
He coyly looked around, but not in the way that irritated me, the one that made me want to jump on him,
“Hii” he said
“Hii” I replied as I wrapped my arms around me, YES, I wrapped my arms around MYSELF. That wasn’t a typo, I did do that, I guess it’s what you do when you stand up in defense of yourself? I don’t know, all I know is that I did that.
“So..” He said as he looked at me, note that he didn’t look me in the eye
“6ali3nii” I told him
“Ga3id a6al3ich” he said
“No! Look me in the eye!” I demanded
“Magdar..” He said
“Why?!” I laughed
“Madrii..” He said as he lowered his head
I giggled when he lowered his head and said, “okay”
“So what do you want to talk about?” he asked me
“Na9er, tikfa goulii, ana ga9art ib 7agik?! Did I lie to you?! Did you tell me to do something that I didn’t?! You wanted all the guys on my msn to be deleted, sawait ilee tabeeh, facebook, you saw it, kilihum ma3ay in school or are my cousins! You and A7med are the only ones that aren’t from school or related to me! Tell me! Ana ga9art ib 7agik?!” I yelled
“La2..” He said
“3ayal tell me! Tell me why you’ve been hurting me so much! For F*cks sake! Look at me now! I’m shaking just standing right in front of you! You have that much of a hold on me!” I kept yelling
He was quiet, imnazil rasa..
Suddenly, my phone rings.
SHIT! Wagta?! I look.. My mother..
“Digeega, omii” I said and he motioned for me to take it
I picked up,
“Aloo?” I said
“Hala mama”
“Ana bil gym”
“I thought I did! Imbella, I told you!” I said
“Oh, yimken nisait? I’ll be done soon inshallah”
“I stopped running 3ashan I pick up when you called” I told her
“Inshallah, 5ala9 3ayal bes arid a5ali9 shughlii” I told my mom and hung up.
“Shfeeha?” he asked
“La nothing, she just asked me why I didn’t tell her I’m coming to the gym, bes I did..” I told him
“Oh..” He said
We were quiet for about 5 minutes, so I turned around and leaned on the car, I slowly settled my phones on the car and just looked at my hands.
“Maisa?” He said
“Hmm?” I asked as I turned around slightly
“Do you wanna be with me?” He asked me
“You know the answer to that..” I smiled
“No, I want to hear it from you”
“Na9er, I’ve said it a million times, oo inta adra bil jawab..” I said again
“La2, abii asma3’ha minich..” He smiled
“Yes.. I do..” I said
And that smile that makes me melt in my place formed, that smile that makes my knees buckle and my bones turn to mush, that was the smile I saw.. :)

I started giggling and I turned around and leaned against the car one more time.. He came closer and leaned on the car next to me, I turned around and looked up at him and smiled, he smiled down at me.. I was quiet for maybe a minute or so when I felt something make it’s way around my arm..
Na9er slid his hand under my arm and slowly intertwined our fingers as we leaned against the car, that intertwinement made the butterflies in my stomach stir, I felt like they were going to come up out of my stomach and out of my mouth. He squeezed my hand and I rubbed my thumb on the side of his palm and thumb when he squeezed my hand.
I looked up and a shy smile formed
“If you want me to kiss you, come closer” he teased
“You think I want you to kiss me?!” I laughed, “nope I don’t” I smiled
“I know you do” he smiled at me
I threw my head back and laughed
“Come with me” he pulled me
“Wain ray7een?”I said and I stiffened my legs
“My car” he said
“No, manii ray7a to your car” I stated
“ta3alay! I’m not going to do anything!”
“Mabiiiii!” I said
“Ta3alay!” He insisted
He came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me,
“Nooo!” I said
“Wallah manii emsawii shay!” he said as he took a hold on my jacket
“Ahh! Zain zain!” I said as I walked at his pace, “you don’t have to pull me you know!” I said
“Ba5ith jakaitich” he told me
“Heeeey! La2! That’s my favorite jacket! I’ll give you something ba3dain” I said as I yanked my jacket out of his hand
“Ya3nii shino?! You’ll give me an earring?! Wila what?!” He joked
“La I’ll give you a hoodie” I laughed
“Haha not my size!”
“I have oversized hoodies you know!” I retorted
“Okay okay” he said
by then we were leaning against his car, an Escalade.
I was leaning against him, I would look up and I’d see his face.. In height, I’d be up to Na9er’s nose.. Perfect height..
He lifted my chin with his index finger..
The next thing I knew…




His lips were on mine..



And slowly after that, I felt his tongue pierce my lips and make way into my mouth..

I was in too much shock to move a muscle..
That kiss ended up turning into a make out session..
He kept trying to part my legs with his knees, and I would push his knees away.
He moved to the side of his car and opened the door to the backseat, he tried to make me get in but I didn’t. I wouldn’t dare get into his car, I mean I know Na9er, I know what he’s capable of, but he wouldn’t hurt me, but even though, I won’t get into his car just incase someone was looking..
The kissing went on, of course he was doing all the work since I was inexperienced! That’s when I felt something..

*-*-*-*

I hope you liked it! I made it long! Just to show you how much you all mean to me! xx
Goodnight my loves, and have a splendid weekend! :)
Please comment, and give me feedback:)
I love you xx

-Q

Stupid In Love. Part 13.

Okay okay! I can’t stay away for too long!;p So here’s part 13, I’ll try to make it longer.. but no guarantees.. :(

So here we go!:)

*-*-*-*

Like I said, when I gave up and started to watch my movie, my phone vibrated.. It was Na9er *melts*

“;**” said the message

“Hehe hii;*” I replied

“You looked nice;*” He told me

I started feeling all tingly, and giggly when I read that,

“Hehe 3ashanik;)” I told him

“;*******” I got back from him

As we kept watching the movie, it started getting very sad, and all three of us started crying, looking at each other, laughing at how we all looked, and cry again

“Thank God I saw you gabil this part” I sent him

“Haha leish?:p” He sent me

“We’re crying so much min the movie:$” I replied

“hahaha girls:p” He replied

As the movie came to an end, I paid attention to the movie other than my phone, and when we got out, I replied to him, saying that sure, we might be girls and we cry, but we have feeling o ina nir7am o en7is, unlike guys, and he laughed it off. He didn’t take it as an insult. That’s how it was with me and Na9er, cool, sweet, and everything I ever wanted…

We left the movie theater, and he called me

“7ubiiii!” He yelled

“Hehe hela” I replied giggling

“Wainich?” he asked me

“Tawna 6al3een min the movie theater.. Inta wainik?” I asked him

“Starbucks” he said

“Ohhh ma6ala3taw?” I asked him

“La2, ga3deen, ta3alay?” He told me

“We were heading that way anyway, hehe, I’ll see you in a bit” I told him

“5ala9 okay, can’t wait honey” he told me

Oh my Lord. Remembering him saying those words to me makes every strand of hair on my body stand, and every nerve in my body tingle.

We got to Starbucks and I saw him sitting in the middle of the café with 5alid. The way he smiled when he saw me, the way he looked around to see if some dude was following me, he really cared for me.. He really wanted me to be his.. He just never took the risk.. Not yet anyway..

We stood in line, when he saw we were safe, no guys behind us, and we were okay, he left. He sent me a message saying he left in case someone saw us upstairs he doesn’t want to give them the benefit of the doubt that we were meeting up, and he’d call me as soon as he gets in the car.

2 minutes later, he calls. I picked up.

We talked, and talked.. Laughed, and laughed..

“Jawa 3indich?” He asked

Remembering it makes my blood boil.

“Jawa, Na9er yabii ekalmich” I handed her the phone.

She pushed it back to me, and shook her head.

“Mabii!” she mouthed

Na9er insisted, so I told her to talk to him and get it over with.

They talked, ihya kalimta ib nafsiya.. When I got my phone back, he said he’ll text me, but we’ll talk later on the phone. We hung up.

“Shgal?” I asked Jawa

“He said that today was our one year anniversary of knowing each other..” She told me

I wanted to claw her face, my best friend or not, when I fall in love, I love, and I love hard.

We kept sending messages back and forth to each other – me and Na9er that is.

When I got home, he sent me a message saying that I had a “nice butt”. And I replied with “I know;) I’ve been told, you ain’t the first;)”. Then.. The next message I got had me jumping up and down.

“Hehe, I wanted to kiss you..”

“Why didn’t you kiss me 3ayal?!” I asked him

“Looool! There were people!:p”

“I don’t care! Next time you kiss me!(a)” I said

“Looool! Oki;p” He told me

“Hehe;$”

“I couldn’t look in your eyes..” was next…

“Hahaha!:p Laish ya3nii? Es7irouk?:p” I was making fun of him! I wasn’t being serious!

“Eeh, kind of..” he replied

“Ehehe;)” I answered

“;*”

After that, I left my phone inside my room, while me Jawa and 3anoud went outside and giggled like maniacs on my balcony.

Meeting numero tres is yet to come.. That one, I remember the freaking date of it, and every single detail of it. Let’s see what shall be your reaction once it comes around the corner;)

*-*-*-*

Part 13! :) Tell me what you think my loves xx

Goodnight xx

-Q

Stupid In Love. Part 12.

Stupid In Love part 12 :)

This is dedicated to the one person that has been with me through hell. Sometimes I wonder where I would be without her standing by my side through the hectic times of my life. And in this point of my life, she’s the only one I can trust with everything in me. Thank you baby girl:*

Here goes;)

*-*-*-*

So, now you all know the first time I saw him. It was a couple days before that, or a week before that first meeting, that I slowly started getting feelings for Na9er.

I wasn’t allowed to fall for him. Okay, saying I wasn’t allowed is kind of harsh. I didn’t want to, well because he was my best friends’ ex. It’s not in the right place to do that. Put yourself in my place, or in her place for that matter. He was her boyfriend, she tells you some stuff he used to tell her or do to her, you start to either hate him, or like him. When he’s your man, and then he becomes someone else’s, you’ll start getting jealous about it all, he used to say something to you, now he says it someone else, he used to hold you and kiss you, now he does it to someone else. If he was yours, how would it feel? I know I would go crazy! I know that for a fact!

Also this was all planned out, it wasn’t meant for me to fall for him. I’ll probably be describing myself as a “call girl” in this next paragraph. Has anyone of you watched the series “The Secret Diary of a Call Girl”? Well she’s a call girl who’s writing a book about her life, and she has to go about her normal life doing what she does best and write it in a book, but when her editor tells her there should be another book, she has to start experimenting more. She’s not meant to fall for any of her clients. Her best friend fell for a client and is going to marry him, she was against it at first, but I guess it’s always the same, as long as she’s happy, you’ll be happy, right? Lets just say, Na9er was kind of a project of mine. Not a client. Like an experiment, I wanted to decode his thought and stuff, I ended up being like her best friend, falling for her client, but I fell for my experiment. Yes, I just described myself as a call girl. Way to go Q! :p

Okay, back to the second time I saw him, Jawa, 3anoud, and Me we’re going to  “My Sister’s Keeper”, and he asked if he could see me.. I looked at them and told them what he said, Jawa’s reaction was the complete opposite of what I thought she’d say:/

“EEH EEH!! LET HIM COME!!!!!!” She yelled

“Um, okay.” I said and looked at 3anoud

“I don’t know. It’s up to the both of you” 3anoud said

“5ALEEH IYEE! GOLEELAH EEH!” Jawa said again

“Zain zain!” I told her

I texted Na9er and told him we’re on.  I guess he was excited, because his texts then consisted of kisses o kalam 7ilu;p

In the car, Jawa pulled out her red lipstick and started applying it. Then, I didn’t know what it all meant, why she’s doing that, but I guess now, I know very well, and I should’ve known better then.. I asked her for her red lipstick and applied it too, I already had some thin eyeliner on, and the red lipstick went well with the contrast of my clothes.

I was wearing straight leg jeans, a blue polo shirt, and silver flats. I had my hair down and parted to the side.

Na9er wanted me to get him and 5alid two tickets so he could sit next to me in the movie, but Jawa told me not to since madrii shno 9ar wiyaha o some other dude.. Any way, I told him we were running late and couldn’t get him tickets. It wasn’t a lie! It was the honest truth! He told me that it was okay, and when he’d get there I can meet him outside the movie theater. I was okay with that, its Sharg, ya3nii who’s going to be there? Emna8ibat and hailag? I didn’t give a rats ass.

He sent me a text message telling me he’s outside, I informed Jawa and 3anoud, and I asked them if they wanted to come along with me, but they were so into the movie, they didn’t want to move.. I picked up my purplish blue Juicy jacket, took Jawa’s red lipstick, and headed to the bathroom. I admired myself in the mirror, thinking that I looked acceptable, something someone would want to stop and look at. I don’t mean that as being self centered, but as like maybe a boost of confidence before I head off. See I’m not really flattered with my body, my face, yes okay, my hair, absolutely, some of my features yes; but my body, no.. Like I described to you earlier how my body was, well yeah, I guess you understand.. Look, I have what I have been told “an amazing ass”, sure, sometimes it’s a compliment and a gift, but at other times it’s a curse! Remember this part, I’ll come back to it soon. Okay, I just went off track. So back to what I was doing; I gave myself one final look, swiped my index finger on my lips and headed to the door.

“Hii, I’m just going here for a second” I told the Indian clerk

“Okay” he said and handed me a pass

I saw him.. there he was.. poised, sitting on the railing, talking to someone on his right..  He was wearing a navy blue shirt with white shorts; 5alid was wearing a white shirt, with a  white zipped up jacket, and a pair of dark washed jeans. I walked towards him and everything around me was quiet in my head all I could think was be nice, be charming, be good, 5alid is his hommie, so we have to impress him, you know what I mean? Like girls, you’d let your man meet your best friend, then you two would talk at what she thinks about him, is he lying or not, all those stuff; maybe guys do the same thing? I don’t know.. but if I have any male readers, please shed some light on us about that part!:)

“Hii” I said with a smile on my face

“Halaw” Na9er replied

“Hiiiiii!” 5alid said

“Hahah, hii there” I replied giggling

“Maisa, 5alid, 5alid, Maisa” Na9er said

“So akheeran I meet you?” I laugh

“Akheeran!” 5alid said and Na9er laughed

My God. That laugh.. You know when you have this vague memory of something and it rings in your head, but you just can’t out your finger on it, it’s fading away, you want it to stay, but you just can’t stop it? In my head right now, that’s how it is with his laugh.. I can hear it ringing in my head, yet I can’t put my finger on it to describe it to you.. All I can remember is that it used to be sooooo bubbly, and genuine! He wouldn’t laugh 3ala shay sakheef, but 3ala shay that was really funny, something worth laughing at..

“Ha Na9er, happy? 5alid is finally here! Maku missing him anymore haaa!?” I teased Na9er

“Hahaha! Shoufay shoufay! 9ar tan!” Na9er said and lifted 5alids’ sleeve to show me, “warha 5aloud” he told 5alid

“Akeed ba9eer tan, min 6 il 9ub7, lain 2 il thuher bil shams, ya3nii shbi9eer feeni?!” 5alid teased

We laughed for a bit, when all went quiet, I looked at Na9er, looked him straight in the eye.. He looked at me, then turned his face. When he turned it back at me again, he looked at me, smiled; he smiled his perfect pearly white smile, and winked. Akh that wink, those eyes, big almond shaped brown eyes rimmed with heavy dark lashes. I smiled, and wrestled my thoughts about whether I should or should not wink back at him, and in the end, winking won. To this day, I think I messed up the wink:p and when I remember that part, I tend to cover my face with my hands and laugh in hysteria at how stupid I might’ve looked.

“Okay.. So I guess I better go, ba3dain they start looking for me oo esawounlii mana7a inee ta2a5art” I rolled my eyes

“Hahaha, okay” Na9er told me

“Bye you two” I smiled

“Byyyyyyyeeee!” 5alid said

“Bye, deeray balich” Na9er told me

I turned around and walked away, a smile so big on my face, someone would know from a mile away Cupid was hanging around and struck me with his biggest love arrow, and now, I was love struck.

I returned the pass to the Indian clerk and walked in, I didn’t bother looking around, I walked in and out without as much as a single glance to who’s around. I strutted to my seat, and sat down, a smile so big the moon couldn’t shine brighter than my smile.

I looked ahead, and watched my movie, every few seconds looking down at my lap wondering if I got any text messages from him, something that would make this smile even bigger. When I gave up, and watched my movie, my phone vibrated..

*-*-*-*

I hope you liked it! :) I know it’s been a while, and I’m sorry for that, but inshallah I’ll post more and faster than this time:)

Comment! Feedback is much appreciated!:)

Good morning Kuwait:) and I hope you have splendid Thursday! Enjoy your weekend, and love like there’s no tomorrow.

Love always;

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Part 11.

Okay my loves;* This is part 11.. Wow, ma3qula we got to Part 11 in this short period of time?! El7imdella 3ala kil 7al o0 inshallah rabii ezeeyd wibarik:)

I first want to thank you all for the on going support, and standing by me when I need it most, words can’t explain how much I love you all:**

 

*-*-*-*

Like I last said, Na9er finally called me.. After the long week of crying, he called me.

I sprang to my feet and went the corner in my room when I usually sit in when I want to have my private space.

“Aloo?” I asked

“Aloo. Maisa shlounich?” He asked

“I’m okay I guess..” I told him, “and you?” I asked him

“I’m good.” He said

I mm’ed to his reply, and waited for him to say something.

“So, is there anything you want to say?” he asked

 This boy knows how to get the cat outta the bag:)

“Yes” I said

“Okay, what..” He said, and it didn’t even sound like a question! :/

“Na9er, I’m sorry I told you that, I thought you meant as in by phone bes! Ana shidareenii?!” I told him, “MSN and Facebook you know AKEED I’m going to have guys!” I said

“Why didn’t you tell me 3ayal?! I was honest with you and told you I talk to girls!” But he didn’t.. Because I didn’t ask him.. Coming for the fact that Na9er is sort of known for his never ending list of girls, I didn’t think I had to ask.. I knew the answer in the back of my mind I guess.

I guess half way through that, I started crying.. He could hear my breathing getting heavier, I was sniffling, I was wiping my tears as they ran down my cheek and my tongue occasionally snuck away and licked my tears.. I felt the salty tears come down, and I wiped them away. I didn’t want him to listen to me crying..

“Are you crying?” he asked me. I guess he was in shock?

“Yeah, what do you expect?” I told him

“Madrii” he said, “5ala9, haday.. Calm down and call me or text me” he told me

“Okay” I said in between sniffles.

I hung up, and went about doing what I had to get done. I calmed down and finished whatever I had to finish and I sent him a text message.

I don’t remember what I said at this very moment, but one thing led to another, and then another fight occured over the very same reason.

Il walad mayit 5ouf ina I’m going to hurt him in some freaky way! And he’s the one that’s known for being a complete jerk and an ass! Sorry for the language, but it’s just to show how bad he was.

See, I believe that people can change, Jawa on the other hand, doesn’t. She doesn’t believe that someone that was such an asshole can turn into someone different after being hurt the same way he hurt people. Na9er did. Everything she told me about him, as how much of a jerk he was, he wasn’t. 7a6nii bi3youna, he made me feel like I don’t need any one else in the whole wide world, I kept telling her that, she would say it’s all a fucked up act.

We’re all scared of getting hurt, who isn’t?! I guess after how badly he got hurt, he slowly changed.. I won’t say how he got hurt, well because if he suddenly reads what I’m telling you all, I don’t know what’ll happen.. So let’s just keep it like this:)

Any way. I told him I wanted to see him. I saw him twice before this time.

The first time:

I was supposed to see him with friends, I’d tell my mom bni6la3, and then when we do, nin7ash to somewhere where I can be alone with him.

Guess what. My so called “friends” ditched me. I had to go and make some lame excuse to my – lets just say chaperone:) – and it was all set. I’m seeing Na9er! :D

“Maisa, when you know if you’re going for sure, call me, ga3deenii, ana banam..” he told me

“okay, bes tig3ad!” I told him

“I will, if I don’t, keep calling” he ordered me

“Inshallah, night” I told him

“Night” he said and he went off to La La land..

Il walad ma ga3ed. I kept calling my whole ride to the movie theater. Texting him, calling, calling, calling. I finally gave up. There’s no point itha madrii how many times I called o ma ga3ad:/

I got my tickets, and popcorn and was on my way in when he called me.

“I’m sorrrrrry!!” he said

“La 3adii” I told him

“Wallah asif 7abeebtii! Wallah wallah!” He told me

La7tha la7tha. Min mita gam esameenii 7abeebta? I was in utter shock. You know when you like someone, and he calls you something affectionate, you get butterflies, and your in a daze of flying sparks. That happened. And I had the goofiest smile on my face.

“Na9er, wallah it’s okay..” I said again, “Are you coming?” I asked him

“Whens the movie?” he asked

“Umm, in like, uh, it started” I giggled

“Walain. Yallah ana yayich! I’ll be there in 15 minutes 7ubii” he said

“Mu lazim if you can’t..” I told him

“La, I can. I want.” He told me

“Okay..”

“Are you alone?” He asked me

“Thaba6t nafsii, don’t worry, just come if you wanna come. Bes none of the girls ma3ay..” I told him

“Okay, ayeech brou7ii 3ayal” he said

“Okay, kaifik..” I told him

“Bes ou9al, adizlich message, okay?” he said

“Okay, bes a5af maku service..” I said

He asked where I was sitting and I told him.

To my luck, AKU SERVICE INSIDE! :D

I texted him to inform him there was service, he told me he was on his way..

I remember how I saw him come up the stairs and sit next to me and say the first hello I heard in person. My heard pounded. It went a million beats per second. I smelled him for the first time. I wish I knew what his perfume was, but to this day, I don’t.. I loved how he smelled. The smell of smoke and perfume combined..

Even though Na9er was only 16, he was a heavy smoker. Smoking made his tough days better, wila chan he would go crazy.. I never tried to stop him la2na itha he got cranky o mada5en, ana akilha..

That was the first time I saw him.. And it’s still more vivid than the second time..

*-*-*-*

Part 11:)

I hope you liked it, I’ll tell you about the second time I saw him in the next post:)

Inshallah I’ll try to make it more vivid, but as I’ve been writing at night, they’re bad posts;p I’m sorry(a)

I love you all! :*

 

Yours truly,

-Q;*

Stupid In Love. Part 10.

Hii my loves, I’m writing this at 1:30am, not my usual writing time, and my mind isn’t set in the right moment.. I’m writing this to keep you all involved in my life.

I’m sorry that I have neglected you lately, I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to your comments, or any of those things; but my life has been spiraling downwards instead of being a stairway to heaven. Things are ranging from family problems like fight with my mother, to stress of school which is causing me to break down every once in a while.. I hope you understand and can stand by me while I try to fix things and get them back in order. I’ll be continuing and posting parts as much as I can, but if I don’t post for a while, and leave you all hanging, please understand that it isn’t my choice, that things have just gone out of hand at that point..

Any way, here’s part 10:)

*-*-*-*

Like I last said, Na9er was jealous. Yes, my picture made him jealous.

See, my picture was of me in a tank top, A7med liked it, he liked it A LOT, stating that he liked my cleavage and that he had a thing for “big boobs”, and being Na9er’s cousin, and practically inseparable before that summer, he knows him pretty damn well, if you know what I mean..

“What’s your problem?!” I asked Na9er

“Nothing!” he typed

“Mu ma3qoula nothing! Wtf is your problem?! Seriously!” I was infuriated! Who was he to be throwing fits at stuff he didn’t even have a say in?!

“This is my problem!” he said

“What is?!” I asked, “stop speaking in codes and just come out and say it!”

“Stop putting provocative pictures of you as your display pictures!” he told me

“Winta shaku?!” I told him

“3ashan kil il shabab ishoufouna?! That’s why you’re putting them as your dp! I know!” he told me

“Shaku shabab?!” I told him

“Your ex! He won’t see?!” He asked me

“La2, he won’t see! La2na the only way I talk to him is when my friend invites him into a convo!” I yelled

“Eeeeee 9a7!” he told me

“You want to get on my email ba3ed to check?!” I told him

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” I read

What the.. Who the hell is he to say he wants to get on?! I just said that as a way to show him I have nothing to hide, not to literally allow him to get on my email and see whom I talk to and what not, my own mother doesn’t do that!!

“Fine! Here’s my password *$&%()#&%” I gave it to him

“Bes inta shaku who I talk to?! You’re acting like you’re my fucking boyfriend when all you are to me is my friend! Shilee 7arak about who I talk to?!” I asked, yeah, I got the nerve to ask him that, can you believe it?!

“You’re right..” was what he replied to my statement

“No, get on, I have nothing to hide!” I yelled

“La 5ala9 mabii” he told me

“Okay.” I said

that was the last thing we told each other on MSN that night..

I talked to my friends, I talked to his cousin, it was all good.. I got off and went to bed without as much as saying “Goodbye and good night” to him, just poof! Offline:)

 

Later on, another fight occurred, honestly, I don’t remember what, but if my memory serves me right, about that same ex..

Na9er accused me of lying, saying that I told him that I only talk to him and his cousin, which is true when it comes to phone! Come on, I’m in a mixed school! I have facebook, I have MSN with my classmates and previous classmates on it! Inshallah mu nawii amsa7 all the guys that were like brother to me 3ashan siwad 3youna?!

You wanna know what happened..?

I cried, I cried for a week, I cried everyday when I got home after school.. I’d lock myself in my bathroom, turn on the shower, sit under the shower head, hugging my knees and let the water rush down on top of me. My tears would blend in with the hot water and so I didn’t feel them coming down. I cried until my breaths were like 2 seconds apart from each other..

I kept sending him messages, apologizing, saying he had a point, saying that I thought he meant on the phone, and not in general.. He ignored.. or he’d say okay..

Until at one point, he finally called..

*-*-*-*

How many of you readers has witnessed love, or has fallen in love? Felt it? Lusted for it? Craved for it from your crush? Craved it from anyone at all, including your own mother or father.. To those of you who haven’t, do you think you know love? Honestly, I think I have fallen in love, but to this day, I don’t know if it’s what you call love, or just attention..

They say love is an intense feeling of deep affection, that’s the dictionary meaning anyway.. But what’s the true meaning of love? I’ve heard it’s when you feel butterflies, when everything around you feels like a dream when you’re with them, when their voice makes you smile, when, when, you have no words to explain what you’re feeling.. That’s what I’ve heard, that’s what I felt with Na9er.. Yet after many failed attempts, and many, many heartbreaks later, I realized, I don’t want to fall in love, not until I know I can spend the rest of my God forsaken life with that person, to start a family, to make everything okay, once and for all..

Sometimes love doesn’t always work out.. I know that for a fact, as someone I know married the one they loved then, and now is getting a divorce, even when their parents didn’t approve of them being together, they fought to be together, and now that they were together, being together was hard, they don’t want it anymore, and so, the big piles of divorce papers, and dividing everything has started, lets just thank the lord that no kids are involved in this..

Okay, I think I went off track.. Just answer my question if you may.. What is love to YOU?

 

 

Part 10! :)

I hope you liked it!:)  I know I sort of when off track at the last part, and it isn’t a long post, but hey, it’s late, the sand man has finally gotten to his job and is making me sleepy..

Please don’t hesitate to contact me, in anyway possible, either via twitter, email, or even on here!:) I promise I’ll try to get back to you all as soon as I can, if I don’t, please understand and be patient with me..

I love you all to bits, you’re the only ones that are keeping me going at this very moment;*

Again, I love you;*

Until next time;

Stay safe my loves;*

-Q